– You’ve started to remember what it’s like to be a functional human being again. Eating, sleeping and getting intimate with your partner are no longer impossible.
– Whenever someone refers to the “honeymoon period,” you can’t help but wonder if you should start planning a second honeymoon before the baby comes. Celebs have been giving you ideas for trendy maternity clothes that would make a killer travel wardrobe, after all.
– You feel like an old woman every time you stand up and have to try stretching your aching lower back.
– Brushing your teeth turns into a gory twice-a-day horror show. Why is there so much blood?!
– Every time you look in the mirror, you can’t help but turn to the side and stare at your boobs. They’re looking pretty awesome lately – and your partner has noticed.
– You’re no longer in a close relationship with your toilet, but unfortunately it’s only a temporary break-up.
– Every time you shower and blowdry your hair afterward, you feel like you’re filming for a shampoo commercial. Even those models don’t have hair THIS luscious!
– On the other end of the spectrum, looking at your arms, legs and even chin can bring images of Sasquatch to mind. Is it okay to shave your face?
– You feel something going on in your tummy and brush it off as gas bubbles. But are gas bubbles usually this rhythmic?
– You put your favorite blush and highlighter away for a while – your natural glow has nothing on those fake flushes!
– You can’t kid yourself anymore by trying to squeeze into your pre-pregnancy clothes. That belly just won’t fit into those skinny jeans.
– You use any excuse you can find to go on a shopping spree. You need new evening maternity dresses in case you’re invited to a formal event. You can’t fit into your shoes. Your old razor just doesn’t cut it (literally).
– Your partner has woken you up on more than one occasion telling you to turn over and stop snoring in his face.
– You’re starting to feel like Buddha now that everyone wants to rub your belly.
– Weird dreams and crazy nightmares are regular occurrences. Why do you keep giving birth to kittens?
– You can actually make it through a sappy commercial without crying these days. But you’re still likely to sob during a romantic comedy.