Why self-care is just as important as baby care for new moms

By Renée Peterson Trudeau
From the Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal

Maybe when you think of what I call "self-care," you have visions of pedicures and facials. Indeed, physical self-care is a big part of the overall picture. But eliminating overly critical thinking; not over-scheduling; releasing the need to be perfect; hiring a babysitter for dates with your partner or yourself; saying no; refusing to do things out of guilt; and giving yourself much-needed rest and downtime to refuel are also integral to total self-care.

Self-care is about nurturing yourself on all levels—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—so you can live, love, and parent optimally. Most of us would never imagine denying our children sleep or nourishment, being judgmental of them, or allowing them to ignore their emotional needs. Yet, once you’re a new mom, you might do this to yourself on a daily basis.
Almost any mother will share with you how pervasive ideals like "good mothers always put their families first" abound in our society. These beliefs run deep—even if you don’t buy into them—and can have a profound impact on how we view our roles as mothers and women. Realize this and be aware that the concept of self-care may feel foreign and difficult to embrace at first.

But after you taste the benefits of self-care, you’ll begin to schedule time for self-nurturing just like you schedule doctor appointments. You’ll discover that it is integral to your emotional survival and that you are wiser and more effective in all areas of your life when you take time to fill your cup first!

One recent afternoon, my 7-year-old son called out to me from his bedroom. "Come play with me, Mom." I paused for a minute at his doorway. "Not right now, sweetie. I had a really hard day and need to take a few minutes for myself before we begin making dinner."

Then I smiled, thinking how attuned my son will be as an adult—I hope—to how essential self-care is for us all. Not just for the women in his life, but for himself, too.

Renée Peterson Trudeau encourages all women to "find their tribe," whether through one of the hundreds of Personal Renewal Groups (PRG) that have connected through her book, or another women’s circle. Find a PRG at www.reneetrudeau.com.