By Jennifer Roland

Pregnancy is supposed to be the happiest time of a woman's life. But what if something dramatic happens that shatters that happiness, such as the loss of a close family member or a beloved pet? Will the negative emotions you feel harm your baby? How can you process the loss while also feeling excitement about your growing baby?

The elevated hormone levels and physical changes in your body that come with pregnancy can make it so much harder to deal with significant life events. Even the smallest upsets can seem gargantuan. And the conflicting emotions can cause overwhelming guilt.

However, there are ways to get through a loss and ensure that the rest of your pregnancy is happy and healthy.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

It is important to let yourself feel your loss, even when others are pressuring you to focus on your baby rather than your loss. "I thought bottling up my grief was probably the best," said Sue Schuster, president and founder of Stage 2 Marketing, whose mother died when she was four months pregnant. "I remember going into the bath room to cry because others would respond in a way that I was harming my child."

"Negative emotions are most harmful to the unborn baby if they are neglected," says psychologist Ann Dunnewold, co-author of Life Will Never be the Same: The Real Mom's Post-Partum Survival Guide. She suggests allowing structured grieving time, an hour a day, perhaps, to express your emotions without interfering with the exciting aspects of your pregnancy.

Schuster found a way to honor her loss that moved beyond crying in the bathroom. "My mother was an avid bird watcher," she said. "I emailed all of my friends across the country to help feed the birds in memory of my mother. The pictures and emails that poured in ... helped me grieve in a way that made me feel closer to my mother."

Practice Good Self-Care

Imagine that the loss hasn't happened to you, but to a close friend. What would you tell her if she didn't feel right experiencing the joys of pregnancy when she was also in the midst of grieving? Through this exercise suggested by Dunnewold, you learn "this is one of those powerful situations where we can be kind to ourselves, reminding ourselves that, as human beings, we are capable of negative and positive emotions at the same time."