By Meagan Francis

It’s no wonder pregnancy makes some women nervous. Life is about to change in a huge way, and, in the meantime, there’s a baby growing inside whose well-being she feels utterly responsible for. And, of course, that child is going to have to come out somehow!

Whether it’s the first baby or the fourth, a natural birth or a C-section, it’s absolutely normal to feel uneasy about giving birth. Fortunately, it’s possible to replace those nerves with calmer thoughts. Here’s how.

Look Inward
“Humans have what’s called a reptile brain—it holds memories that we may not be able to consciously bring to mind, but that our subconscious remembers,” says Giuditta Tornetta, doula and author of Painless Birth: An Empowering Journey Through Pregnancy and Childbirth. These buried feelings actually can affect the way you feel about your upcoming birth and even how you’ll adjust to motherhood, leading to a major case of angst.

“The nine months of pregnancy are a great opportunity to really look at yourself under a microscope and work through old memories or feelings that can get in the way of your birth experience,” Tornetta says. Journaling, meditation, and visualization exercises can help you bring memories and emotions to the surface so you can deal with them before you go into labor.

Let It Out
“I was completely freaked out by the idea of having an episiotomy and was having a lot of anxiety over it,” says Jennifer Herman of Chicago. “On a friend’s advice, I asked my ob/gyn point-blank what his episiotomy rate was, and I was very pleasantly surprised to find out that he doesn’t think they are necessary very often. Just having that piece of information, I really felt like I could relax and look forward to labor.”

The moral of this story? If something’s bothering you, talk to your care provider, doula, or an experienced friend about how you’re feeling. “I think it’s always helpful to talk about anxiety,” says Teri Shilling, M.S., a certified doula and Lamaze childbirth educator in Vernon Hills, WA. When you confide your fears to someone who’s experienced in the birth process, she can help you see how common your worries are and come up with effective strategies for overcoming or reducing them.