Think you’re the only couple who bickers about the cost of strollers and car seats? Hardly—money clashes are the rule rather than the exception, particularly when you’re pregnant. All those costly new expenses colliding with your individual budget beliefs and…boom! Fortunately, you can bring the battle back down to Earth with a few simple guidelines.

Your way or the highway
How can a duo with differing opinions move ahead? Think flexibility, says Kristin Harad, a certified financial planner and president of VitaVie Financial Planning in San Francisco, who specializes in helping parents-to-be manage their finances. She urges her clients to get past their own wants and consider “alternatives that fall in the middle.”

Take Seattleites Amanda and Jonathon Foley, who are expecting their first baby in three months and can’t seem to agree about childcare. Amanda’s campaigning for a nanny, believing the individual attention outweighs the high cost, while Jonathon thinks day care is the better choice. It won’t just save them money today, he says, because with more children planned, the surplus dollars will help them stay strong budget-wise.

Complicating the issue is the fact that they can afford a nanny—if they trim their expenses. But they’d have to agree about what to cut out. “Jonathan loves golf and skiing; I love nice dinners with great wine—different things are important to us,” Amanda says.

Although the Foleys talk, their discussions haven’t gone anywhere. To make a decision, they need to be willing to compromise, Harad says. A team approach, with finding good care for baby as the ultimate goal, can help them weigh the advantages and pitfalls of each option—or even come up with new ideas that can work.

If the Foleys do opt for a nanny, they’ll have to commit to a budget. But this may not be as tough as it sounds: Spending weekends with baby at home will seem a lot more relaxing than an evening out, once the Foleys are on night duty.

And if they choose the cheaper alternative? They’ll need to follow through.