If your baby is sleeping through the night at six months old, consider yourself very lucky. Most parents at this age are still trying to reduce the amount of wakings and perhaps even using sleep training to get results. What does a “normal” sleep pattern look like for 6-12 month old? What do babies typically need to help them sleep better? Plus, how does dreaming factor into the equation?
Baby Sleep Solutions: 6-12 Months
Please be advised, this transcription was performed from a company independent of New Mommy Media, LLC. As such, translation was required which may alter the accuracy of the transcription.
JEN VARELA: Sleep, it seems so natural yet it’s often one of the most challenging parts of parenting. For babies between six months and a year, it’s critical to their development and the parents’ well-being.
I’m Jen Varela, Certified Gentle Sleep Coach for Sugar Night Night. Today, we’re talking: “All about sleep for babies for six months and a year.” This is Parent Savers Episode 96.
JOHNER RIEHL: Welcome everybody to Parent Savers broadcasting from the Birth Education Centre of San Diego. Parent Savers is your weekly online on-the-go support group for parents of newborns, infants and toddlers. Thanks again to all of our loyal listeners who joined the Parent Savers’ Club. All of our members get all of our archived episodes, bonus content after each new show plus special give-aways and discounts.
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Before we talk about Baby Sleep Solutions, let’s introduce everyone and everybody in the room. I’m your host Johner Riehl. I have three boys – a seven year old, a five year old and a two year old. I felt they all stink at sleeping in some level. So, I always love talking about sleep, seeing like what we’re doing wrong or maybe what we’re doing right. So, I always love talking about this topic.
COLINA COROTHERS: All right, hi. I’m Colina. I am 25. I work in a call centre and I have one child, a son. He is almost 10 months.
JOHNER RIEHL: He is with us. We may hear him.
COLINA COROTHERS: He is.
HEATHER PIEDRAHITA: I’m Heather. I’m 27. I work for an online high school. I have one son, Lukas who is 8 ½ months. He’s a decent sleeper. He’s figuring out night time sleep but his naps are horrible.
ERIN ESTEVES: I’m Erin Esteves otherwise known as OG Mama Sita. I am 44 as of last week.
JOHNER RIEHL: Happy Birthday.
JEN VARELA: Happy Birthday.
ERIN ESTEVES: I have one boy who is 2 ½ and just as not sleep.
JOHNER RIEHL: Certainly he is kicking us in the face. Jen is also our expert today.
JEN VARELA: Yes and I’m happy to be here. So, I’m Jen Varela. I’m a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach. I have two children going to be 9 in a couple of weeks and 10; all our boys.
JOHNER RIEHL: Nice and they’re probably good sleepers now.
JEN VARELA: They are. I’m glad that I can say that.
JOHNER RIEHL: Before we jump in the conversation, let’s talk about a news headline. This is where we look at a recent story that we’ve seen on the news or online. They would be off interest to parents and kind of talk about it and give our perspective.
There’s Baby Adam. I can’t wait. This is actually might be useful for him as well. So, some Kansas City fathers created a safety wrist band for kids to check their location. So, three fathers from Kansas City – this is from the Fox Four KC.com; The Fox affiliating in Kansas City.
Three fathers from Kansas City have bonded together to create kids board; a GPS tracking wrist band for kids. They came up with the idea two years ago during a family vacation, they took as a group. One of their daughters actually went missing for two and a half hours on the beach and the resort where they were staying required children to wear wrist bands.
One of the fathers said: “It’s too bad there wasn’t a tracking device in the wrist band.” So, these wrist bands are – these big pieces of kind of oversized plastic and within it, there is a tracker. I don’t know if you ever use like five in my iPhone or anything. But, you can just easily I think pop up on a map and see where they are. I thought this was a really, really good idea.
ERIN ESTEVES: I think it’s fantastic. I think it’s up there with safety belts. I really think it’s one of the things that every parent should have access too; particularly if you’re going in a crowded area like an amusement park or even just out and about in your neighbourhood. I think it’s a great idea.
HEATHER PIEDRAHITA: I can say – it been really useful to – we actually just went to Japan for 2 ½ weeks with my family. Greg, my son was six months old so he wasn’t walking off his own but I could imagine how do you gone with a toddler to have the reassurance that you can pull this up on your phone or wherever and see him especially in a country where you don’t speak the language.
Some of this people don’t speak your language and just to have that reassurance that there is a way you can find him even if you don’t understand anything going on around you.
JOHNER RIEHL: But it is planning for this fraction of a percentage chance that something that goes wrong. But, they’re pretty cute right? Kids it’s fun to play – our four year old just got a ring balloon. So, don’t put anything on that wrist.
ERIN ESTEVES: Welcome to addiction.
JOHNER RIEHL: Yes, exactly. But, this are cute and but at this point we all have the tracking monitors right in our pocket with our phones. I think 10 years ago, this wouldn’t even be possible.
COLINA COROTHERS: So, I use to take and when we go to Disney Land or whatever right? I’d put our name and address, everything in the shoe of my kids. So, this is a much more effective way I think.
JOHNER RIEHL: Especially, if you do you go too like if you’re out here. You go to Disney Land or if you go to your local theme park a lot or some place. It’s easy. It can happen just like that. Even though nothing bad is happening, they found they’re with a parking employee.
COLINA COROTHERS: A lot faster I’m sure.
JOHNER RIEHL: You can find them a lot faster.
HEATHER PIEDRAHITA: Less anxiety.
JEN VARELA: Does it say what the cause id?
JOHNER RIEHL: I don’t think it says what the cause is. But, I think we need to follow-up with these guys.
JEN VARELA: So, that would be the deciding factor.
JOHNER RIEHL: What would you pay for it?
COLINA COROTHERS: That’s a great question.
JOHNER RIEHL: We’re doing some market research 101.
ERIN ESTEVES: For me like I said.
JOHNER RIEHL: I have the price but I wanted to know what you would pay for?
ERIN ESTEVES: For me, it’s up there with safety belts. I’m serious. I don’t know if it’s just because I live in a high paedophile ratio neighbourhood but I’d pay $ 50.
JOHNER RIEHL: $ 129 is what it said on the website.
ERIN ESTEVES: I would totally pay that.
JOHNER RIEHL: There also might be a way that you could rake something up yourself and do it as well. They sell like other little trackers. But, anyway a great idea; I think these dads have an awesome idea. We’ve got a link on the page but yes, let’s see if we can get some samples in here for some future episode that would be really pretty cool.
JOHNER RIEHL: Today’s topic on Parent Savers is: “Sleep solution for babies’ six months old and up to a year.” Today, we’re talking with Jen Varela who’s a member of the International Association of Child Sleep Consultants and a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach. Did I get that right?
JEN VARELA: You did.
JOHNER RIEHL: Nice. Thank you so much for joining us. So, last time you were here – we spoke about: “Newborn sleep training.” We’re really talking about really young babies. Now, let’s talk about something that’s kind of a bit more common of a concern.
I think everyone kind of accepts that newborn-sleeping kind of stinks and how they can start dealing with it. It was a really fun episode to record. Everyone should listen to it of course. But now, six months to a year I think is when everyone really kind of gets into it and starts trying actually training and trying to see how they can control the sleep patterns.
JEN VARELA: True.
ERIN ESTEVES: Hoping.
JEN VARELA: Hoping, right? So, kind of to talk about then what the babies need to get a good night sleep is kind of what’s really – so, I think first of all the most important thing is managing your expectations, right? Because it doesn’t all happen in one shot typically and research shows that the ability to stretch their sleep is starting to form for sure at six months; but that may not coincide exactly with the parents’ ideal stretch, right?
So, most parents will like it to go from 10 to 6 but the good stretch happens from onset of bed time till one, right? So, maybe your baby is getting good stretches but maybe just not in the time that you would like, right?
JOHNER RIEHL: Right.
JEN VARELA: So, managing your own expectations is a big part of that. But, as far as just some key things that you can take a look at; points I would say: “One is – make sure that they sleep cycle and rhythm is definitely matching the circadian rhythm of day and night, right?
So, you hope that; they’re newborns right? You have to expose them to light to make sure that even still, at six months, make sure that they’re getting enough sunshine, right? So, that they’ve got a good circadian rhythm going. Tummy time is
JOHNER RIEHL: So, do you think that in the nursery they should have like a window that’s open and lets in the morning light or like I think some people use black out curtain.
JEN VARELA: Yeah, so that is one of the things that I would suggest is that: “You do have a dark room for sleep.” Then in the morning, I always like to do – I call the dramatic wakeup and you go on with a little song not to irritate them but to indicate it’s time to get up and open the window. That definitely, all that light is important.
JOHNER RIEHL: Got it.
JEN VARELA: So, yes.
JOHNER RIEHL: But, you kind of control the light?
JEN VARELA: I would recommend that. I will tell you: “My daughter does fine with a bright room but my son has to have a dark room.” So, I also think there is a little temperament involve in that too as what your needs.
So, tummy time is super important because that helps with all the motor skills and all that stuff and it helps with sleep.
JOHNER RIEHL: Tummy time during the day?
JEN VARELA: Yes. Back to sleep, time to play. Preserving the nap, there is this myth that if you skip a nap – your baby will sleep longer, that is a myth; don’t do it.
ERIN ESTEVES: It backfires.
JEN VARELA: It’s terrible. We’ll talk a little more about that and naps are important.
JOHNER RIEHL: Okay, cool.
JEN VARELA: But preserve the nap time. Also, watching the day time calories because sometimes they can reverse their eating; so, especially when you think about the developmental milestone between 4 and 5 months all of the sudden, they’re eating a lot more at night.
Then, you kind of just get in that rhythm and all of a sudden, they’re getting more calories at night. Now, you kind of get it swapped out. So, you want to watch that they’re really getting enough food during the day like nutrition during the day. We talked about a dark room. The temperature of the room should be somewhere between 68 and 74 degrees.
JOHNER RIEHL: No blankets right because they’re just kind of sleep again.
JEN VARELA: Yes, there are so many nice little sleepers and stuff why run the risk right? Of having blankets and things like that in the crib, it’s just what it said; it’s just why do it? Then, consider white noise; white noise is a great – I used to not like white noise because you have to have this huge machines that you would if you travel, it’s inconvenient.
Now, you got a dependency but life is changed. Now, there are all these lovely little contraptions. So, what I would say is: “The important part is that it goes all night long and that it’s on the low tones, no high pinging, right?” That it’s not going off and on. So, that’s the important part but it can help screen out sound for them which is great.
If you think about it, it’s kind of womb-like and they talk about womb to room right? Establish a great routing, I think I explained that like if you told your toddler: “Okay, it’s time to leave the park right now. What would they do, right?”
Make a huge tantrum, right? Because they can’t say goodbye to the slide and the swing and the sand, right? For babies, you are their park. So, it sometimes a big deal for them to say goodbye to you; so a routine, it’s kind of like giving them that 10 minute warning if you will. Okay, the day is ending. So, it’s a very important part. Those are some good tips on that.
JOHNER RIEHL: That was a ton.
JEN VARELA: I know.
JOHNER RIEHL: Sometimes they feel like we project what we would want for a good night sleep once with the baby. That’s not necessarily the case. We want to maybe snuggle into a nice warm bed with the big fluffy people. But, baby is just need to lie down and go through the routine. They need different things than the grownups do.
ERIN ESTEVES: I think that’s where you were talking about measuring your expectations.
JOHNER RIEHL: Yes.
ERIN ESTEVES: Understanding what you can really expect and achieve.
JEN VARELA: Yes, and if anything out of the segment – I hope that they will be enough information that can just help normalize your experience because I think we do get a little stressed about things should be happening now, right?
ERIN ESTEVES: I just resigned myself quite early on to not sleeping. I figure: “I would never have a same kind of sleep that I used to have.” That eventually the kid will sleep to the night but until then, I just have to take my anti-depressants and drink lots of coffee.
JOHNER RIEHL: Downs and ups!!!
JEN VARELA: I guess as a sleep coach, I have to say: “Let’s not resolve to completely accepting they will be no sleep.” But I think there is that whole like: “Okay, there is a season, right?” There is a season.
ERIN ESTEVES: Yes.
JEN VARELA: For sure, yes.
JOHNER RIEHL: I mean you said: “You brought the word normalize and that’s actually I mean it’s one of my frustrations always of having a baby are going to the doctor talking to someone is – you ask a specific question and the answer is always: “Well, certainly for some that’s the case but every child is different.” So, obviously every child is different but you talk about normalizing; I mean is it possible to talk about what a normal sleep pattern should look like?”
JEN VARELA: Sure. Yes, definitely. I think to kind of recap just a little bit as far as how sleep works with before 6months and then to 6 months – at around three months is when you’ll start to see some sleep become more predictable. Then, like 4 to 5 months; it all falls apart for a bit. Then, we’re like: “Six months, here we are.” Okay, we’re going to like things are going to back to normal and then, they have a grow spurt right?
So, I guess I want to say that although six months, you’re going to start to see some more stretches coming at place and there are wake times will link them like their ability to be awake which is part of the whole cycle of sleep right? That nap organization does not typically happen until after six months which I think is an expectation that everyone’s like: “How come I can’t get my baby to sleep like 30 minutes or 45 minutes?”
Well, often it’s even up until 8 months that I see with my clients were finally they’re starting to get a child that can give them an 1 ½ sleep. So, a couple of a thing that happen – one, is the awake-windows get longer which that they can stay awake. Another is that their nap organization will start come into place.
Another one is often “The Aha Moment” for parents is when they talk with family talk about what time’s the last nap and when are you? There is previously, they might have been taking an evening nap, right and then there’s an “Awake Period of Time” and then their bedtime is probably more like 9 or 10, right?
Then, they just think: “Well, that’s when their bedtime is” so, that all of a sudden they start pushing through, right? What actuality, when you start seeing a baby fuzzy between 6 and 9 at night, you probably waiting too long to put them into bed. You need to look at maybe more of a 7 AM wakeup and a 7 PM bed time.
So, you’re looking at something between 6:30 and 7:30 is really when the beginning of night sleep starts. So, often, it’s a tricky season where you don’t really know where their bed time is and my suggestion is: “Always start earlier.” That can solve a lot of problems with night awakening instead of early rising because your baby could be sleep deprived because you’re put into bed to early.
JOHNER RIEHL: That’s what always blows my mind because logically, you would think: “If they are super tired. If they are even more tired, they’re going to sleep even more.” But, that’s not at all what happened.
JEN VARELA: Yes, if you miss their sleep windows – now, you are hitting their second sleep window which is then going to be that 9 or whatever; Cortisol’s kicks in and if Cortisols kicks in and you’re trying to put a baby down, I’ve said this before –it’s like: “You are trying to go to sleep with four cups of coffee in your system.” And cake with all the pretty candles out and dim the lights and whatever. But, if your body is full of caffeine, you’re not going to sleep. Well, same thing with Cortisol for them.
JOHNER RIEHL: The saving grace is maybe that sometimes they look up at you with that cute smile.
JEN VARELA: Yes, they can be sweet.
JOHNER RIEHL: They give you a giggle. I wish I was asleep but you’re adorable.
JEN VARELA: Yes.
JOHNER RIEHL: Heather, are you on a nap schedule? Have naps work themselves out yet?
HEATHER PIEDRAHITA: No, not yet. I’m a working mom so my son’s at a day-care during the day. So, I actually struggle a little bit with naps I think more because of that. I think if you were home with us, I would be much more adamant about: “Okay, you’ve been up for this long. Let’s go ahead and go bound for a nap.” Or be able to read his sleep cues a little bit better and just know that he is ready for a nap.
I readily understand. They have four babies to one adult. So, they do the best they can. But, there are times that I pick him up at the end of the day and they’re like: “He had a nap. He had nap for an hour in the middle of the day.” I’m like: “An hour all day?” He’s eight months old. He woke up at one. What? This is not going to work.
So, he’s on somewhat of a lose schedule. I’d say during the week when he’s with day care, he always gets one longer nap that’s usually like a 1 1/2 to 2 hours – somewhere in the middle of the day. Then, occasionally, he’ll have 1 hour, a 45-minute naps either one in the morning before that or one in the afternoon after that.
When he’s home with us, on the weekends, he usually gets at one in the morning, a longer one in the middle of the day and then one in the afternoon. He always gets those three. I mean to me: “It seems pretty typical.” It’s like: “He looks tired. Let’s put him down.” It’s harder when you got a lot more running around.
JEN VARELA: It’s really great is that: “You are taking the weekends to fill up his sleep tank; it’s what I call it, right? So, if we know that during the week he’s not getting enough but then you could do that on the weekends, it’s great. Sometimes the weekends are the hard time because you want to go out and be social and do that. So, I think you’re being really wise in letting him catch back up. Our bodies will do that.
I often tell clients that: “Even if you just take three days to make sure that they’re getting enough sleep in the 24 hours – that, that can resolve a lot of the Cortisol stuff. That can resolve a lot of the night awakenings and early rising.” So, at least you have a system that’s working. But it is. It is a series of compromises, right? So, I think that’s great.
JOHNER RIEHL: So, you’d mentioned like an eight hour window and some of that you were talking about like how much should that big chunk be? How much sleep should babies be getting? How about grownups? What are we looking for with babies?
JEN VARELA: So, with six months, what’s really interesting is that they’re still probably taking three naps during the day. So, in the ideal world it would be what you talk about: “A 1 1/2 in the morning, a 1 1/2 in the afternoon and then a 30-minute top off.” I kind of look it like you would maybe tap them off with that last little bit of milk before bed – kind of like sleep.
The key that I find is happening is the distance between last nap and bed time is usually needs to be under three hours. So, it’s not that-that 30 minutes is restored at sleep as much as it is to help kind of tap off so the Cortisol doesn’t kick in. So, at 6 months, I find if you’re at about the 2 1/2 hour mark, from the last nap to bed time, that seems to be about the sweet spot especially if you were working on in any training where you’re wanting to deal with some behavioural pieces, right?
Then, what’s fascinating is that between 9 and 12 months – so, we’re talking 6 to 12 months that will begin to stretch to 4 hours. So, then they will start to have the ability to go closer to four hours between last nap and bed time. That’s where you’ll often see somewhere around 7 ½, 8 ½ months; they’ll drop that third nap. That’s that one like: “This is painful because sometimes they need third naps, sometimes they don’t.”
Then, sometimes you’re moving your bedtime earlier and sometimes it still getting to be so you have to make that shift with them. But, that’s the key. It’s not so much the total amount of sleep they need but their ability on wake times. So, they still need between; I always like to say: “14 is like the ideal spot.”
JOHNER RIEHL: Okay, accumulative.
JEN VARELA: Yes, right? So, 3 ½ during nights – it means that: “At night, they’re probably giving you 11.” I get a lot of calls where I talk to families that they’re like: “I really want them to sleep from 7 to 7.” I’m like: “That’s totally not realistic.” 11 hours is probably the more of the average of what you’re going to get.
So, we’re looking at 14 hours would be the dream sweet spot, right? In there somewhere 3 ½ hours, total combined nap distance between last nap and bed time. At 6 months is going to be under three hours [inaudible 00:20:29] to 12 months, it’s going to be under 4 hours.
JOHNER RIEHL: Okay.
JEN VARELA: Then, for adults who are saying: “It was the difference for adults.”
JOHNER RIEHL: Right.
JEN VARELA: So, I don’t know if you guys saw the Good Morning America segment on Short Sleepers. It was on yesterday. It was hilarious. They showed a segment on the dad and the mom – I’m sorry a dad and a daughter and how they only need like four hour of sleep. That’s what they’ve done their whole life. They don’t ever yawn and never tired. They call them “short sleepers.”
There is a DNA component to this in the sense that their brain condenses the sleep cycles. So, they don’t need as much sleep. It’s fascinating. So, have I run into that with the families I have worked with? There was one conversation I have with the mom once who was like: “We went through everything that she was doing, right?”
She say: “I can’t just get my baby to sleep more than 10 hours in 24 hour.” It lead to any conversation that she says: “Yes, I only need between four and five hours of sleep at night.” I went: “Could we have talked about that first?” So, I do think there is some DNA but as far as average go: “Averages is a 7 or 8 that adults need at night. Five is considered the minimum.”
I’ve heard talks about post partum depression where it’s like: “You have to have at least five hours otherwise; you’re sliding down that slippery slope in a whole another level.” So, and then it can be up to 10 hours. I will tell you I’ve become up slept obsess with my own sleep and figuring out: “Where’s my sweet spot?” It’s kind of embarrassing.
I need nine hours of sleep at night to be at my best. I feel like: “As a sleep coach, do you think I’d be excited about that that I feel like, such a waste of time.”
JOHNER RIEHL: Right. If for over years and exactly had it in mind, right?
JEN VARELA: So, I think it’s really interesting and if you are sleep deprived, your body is going to crave for you to fill back up and that’s the neat part. You can fill your sleep tank back up. So, that’s something to be aware of.
JOHNER RIEHL: I mean – it’s so, there was a ton of stuff to talk about. But, it’s interesting because a lot of you and what you’re talking about is parents sending once 7 to 7. So, I think there is this battle between controlling the sleep and then giving the kids what they need and then maybe final.
JEN VARELA: And what their body can actually do.
JOHNER RIEHL: Right. So, I think in finding the medium there are a lot of methods. So, let’s take a quick break. I know the Cry-it-out method is the popular one. I just want to talk to you about that. Some of these other factors in affect to baby are sleeping as well.
JOHNER RIEHL: Welcome back everybody. Today, we’re talking about: “Sleep solutions for 6 months olds to 1 year olds with Jen Varela.” So, let’s talk about something I think that a lot of parents face during this time which is either pressure, interest or curiosity or doing the Cry-it-out Method. This is an age where a lot of people I think started – so, what do you guys think of Crying-it-out?
ERIN ESTEVES: Yes, let me do the panel and all. I’ll jump in after you guys.
COLINA COROTHERS: I can’t do it. I can’t
JOHNER RIEHL: Yes, that’s how we feel too.
COLINA COROTHERS: The research I’ve done, articles and studies I’ve seen, things from emotional damage to physical brain like damage killing brain cells because they’re not breathing, because they’re crying so hard. It’s just not something that I would even want to risk.
I mean there’s so many things we don’t do because of little tiny risks, why would you risk something like your emotional and physical health of your child?
JOHNER RIEHL: Well, I think the argument then is: “Well, you do it now. Then they don’t really remember.” Bed time people are either justify other reason they do it is – they need to fitted into their schedule and what they need. I think to say: “Well, it’s still just a young brain that they’re not going to remember it.”
HEATHER PIEDRAHITA: I think you also get to the point if you had sleep struggles, you get to the point where you’re like: “Nothing else is worked; I’ve been doing this for months. I’m going to try it.” We got to that point and we tried it for
JOHNER RIEHL: Did you?
HEATHER PIEDRAHITA: What was it – three nights and he is not a Cry-it-out kid. They were literally full hours of crying. There was no break. There was nothing. I actually had contacted Jen; funny enough we’ve been in contact at that point. Luckily, she was able to tell me: “Some kids just they don’t respond well to that. Every kid kind of has their own thing that works for them.”
We were doing it at the same time of course as our best friends and their kid cried-it-out, went back to sleep and no big deal. So, you’re like: “It works for them why doesn’t it work for me?” But, it doesn’t work for everybody.
JEN VARELA: It’s so interesting when you bring up the concepts of sleep training, right because there’s a lot of cramps like: “Cry-it-out, this is the only solution. No, trading is the only solution; no, never train – right?” So, I think you got to call it what it is in the sense that: “Does it work?” Yes, statistically, there is a high percentage that works. Does it work for everyone? No.
What is the key thing that I find? Temperament, temperament is a huge piece of all that. Now, do I do cry it out and then I practice, I don’t because I think there are so many other things you can exhaust. You have to look at what, why does it Cry-it-out works, right? Cry-it-out works because you’re giving them a consistent answer to their question.
What is there question? Are you going to help me to sleep? What is the answer to cry-it-out? You’re going to work it out on your own and I’ll be back in the morning, right? True Cry-it-out; so, if you think about: “There is this thing called the extinction burst which if you will give your child a consistent answer for three days to their question, they maybe at first but push back pretty like: “Not liking it and then will resolve.”
I don’t know when that stops working but I’m really glad it still working on my 9 and 10 year old. So, if you look at what is the question their asking – so, if you have things that their doing that they need in order to fall asleep; well, maybe they could look at doing let’s say they need a lot of movement, right to fall asleep.
Well, why not instead of going cold turkey and going: “Okay, we’re going to take away movement, nursing, holding and patting, right shushing all that stuff. What if you just, you move for 45 seconds, you stop for 10 seconds? You move for 45 seconds, you stop for 20 seconds.” That’s your answer to the question for three days.
Well, you will now have a baby if you continue to stretch them in their tolerance of no movement; you’re going to have a baby who can fall asleep without movement. Done, one crutch – then, let’s take a look at the next one. So, you can see why cry it out works is because it’s a consistent answer to their question.
If it is going to work, it will happen within 3 to 5 days and the crying should become rest and less and less. If the crying is not becoming less, it is not working. You need to step away and catch your breath and revisit if that’s the right fit for the temperament of your child.
JOHNER RIEHL: I think that’s it. Remembering that each child is different and it may not work for some. So, trying to fit the square peg into the round hole.
JEN VARELA: I get it. Gosh, if in three days, you could be done compared to some of the work I have to do with some families. Sure, wouldn’t it be nice, right? So, I guess I would say: “I’m not judging as much as I but I don’t do it and I really like to try and see if there are other methods. Does it work? Yes, it can work for a large percentage.
JOHNER RIEHL: Thanks. Shifting gears a little bit. When babies are sleeping, actually it was Jamel Ryan and she’s been on here before. We’re talking about some sleep issues. She had brought up that a lot of times that maybe we should think – her theory, what’s happening with her young child is that: “The baby is dreaming about some stuff that they had gone through.”
That’s either waking them up and they’re excited or that’s really affecting the sleep and it’s almost in the positive way. They’re having these dreams, so what about – are they dreaming?
JEN VARELA: Yes, in fact there is this great article that came out by Dr. Alan Greene. It talks about: “The truth about dreams, nightmares and night terrors.” So, dreams happen during REM Sleep. There is a memory related theories about: “REM Sleep is when you’re consolidating all the information into a long term memory, right?”
So, when there was a study done in 1966. It’s in a book called: “The Promise of Sleep” where they were setting out to show that babies don’t dream. In the end, they found out that actually, they actually – this is what the startling discovery. They actually dream more as newborn infants than you do as college students.
So, another part; so, they dream more in the first two weeks than any other time. It’s the visual part of the brain is more active during new born REM Sleep than any adult sleep. So, they actually – if you think about their experience of coming out of the room, right? My gosh, that is a lot of information to log in. So, actually, I just came up fascinating that they actually dream more.
JOHNER RIEHL: Well, you see – I love taking them out of their stuff because they would actually make a lot of sense that the only reason that we dream as adults is because it’s leftovers the way that we developed as babies that – that’s how they’re learning and going through their world. I think there’s a lot of questions about people don’t understand fully what dreams are and what’s happening.
ERIN ESTEVES: Yes, I’m fascinated about it. I’m completely perplexed by the idea that newborns dream more. I mean it just blows my mind.
JOHNER RIEHL: What do they dream about?
ERIN ESTEVES: What are they processing? Yes.
JOHNER RIEHL: Dreaming at that time when they were born.
ERIN ESTEVES: I know.
JEN VARELA: Right with all the lights.
JOHNER RIEHL: They were in the womb.
JEN VARELA: Getting to know you as the parents and touch. There are a lot to log, right? Isn’t it?
ERIN ESTEVES: It’s just crazy.
JOHNER RIEHL: So in the 6 months to 12 month olds are doing it too but really, it’s almost the minute from the study that
JEN VARELA: Yes, infants from 3 to 5 months dream much more that 6 to 12 month olds.
JOHNER RIEHL: Interesting.
JEN VARELA: Yes.
JOHNER RIEHL: That’s really interesting.
JEN VARELA: Yes, so I loved that article. So, you should look at that.
JOHNER RIEHL: Thanks so much for joining us today and thanks so much for listening everybody. For more information about Baby Sleep Solutions or Sugar Night Night or any of our panellists, visit the episode page on our website – www.ParentSavers.com . We’ll actually continue the conversation for members of our Parent Savers Club.
After the show, we’re going to talk a little more about: “Falling asleep and carriers.” There actually have been some tragic stories of come out recently about happening. But, it’s also something I know that happens a lot with kids too is they fall asleep and parents don’t know what to do. So, we’ll talk about that in our bonus segment for members of our Parent Savers Club.
JOHNER RIEHL: If you would like information about that or want to join, visit www.ParentSavers.com . As we near in the end of today’s show; here’s Detective Damian Jackson with some great ways to better protect our children.
DAMIAN JACKSON: Hey Parent Savers, this is Detective Damian Jackson with the Escondido Police Departments Family Protection Unit and the Internet Crimes against Children Task Force here in San Diego California. As part of the Escondido Police Departments’ ongoing series of community outreach education to help families enhance their personal safety, I’m here today to talk to you about Facebook Security Settings.
In today’s technology-driven world, it’s never been easier to stay connected with friends and family across the globe. On the flip side on that same technology, it’s never been easier to be victimized by strangers that wish to do you and your family harm. The good news as that with the little bit of proactive action on your part, you can easily prevent your family from being the next target.
Like most people, I’ve got a Facebook account to share news and events with friends and family over a common network. Just last night, I was reading some comments on our friend’s posting and came across a person I don’t even know and I never even met in my life, that because of this Facebook settings, provided me with almost every detail in his life – including each person’s name and his family, including his wife, his children, where he works, pictures of his kids, his wife, his home, his car and his personal stands on just about every issue under the sun.
The point of this is: “He has no clue who I am either.” But, I know more about him in less than a minute than what it would take one of his friends and co-workers, several months or more to get – that my friends is extremely dangerous. Look at it this way, would you pull us to all of that same information on the sides and back of your car and drive around all over the place on a daily basis with your personal and family information out in the open for all of us to see – of course, not.
But then again, at least that would keep your personal information available only in the areas you drive, right? Well, unfiltered Facebook Settings provide your information to the entire world. Think about it. There are lots of resources and easy tutorials available online to walk you through filtering your settings. Take those few minutes to secure your information, protect your family and enjoy Facebook as it was meant to be between only those you know and trust.
For more information on how you can keep your family safe, visit us on Facebook or Twitter at “/escandidopolice”. With the Escondido Police Department and the San Diego Internet Crimes against children Task Force, I’m Detective Damian Jackson reminding you and your family to be smart and be safe.
JOHNER RIEHL: That wraps up today’s show. Thank you so much for listening to Parent Savers.
Don’t forget to check out our sister shows:
• Preggie Pals for expecting parents
• The Boob Group for moms who breastfeed their babies and
• Twin Talks for parents of multiples.
Next week, on Parent Savers, we’re going to be talking about: “Play date etiquette.” Kind of the do’s and don’ts and how to set them up in some interesting conversations as we already got a lot of great feedback on Social Media from that. This is Parent Savers, thanks for joining us; empowering new parents.
This has been a New Mommy Media production. Information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. Though information in which areas are related to be accurate, it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, Medical or advisor care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.
SUNNY GAULT: New Mommy Media is expanding our line up of shows for new and expecting parents. If you have an idea for a new series or if you’re a business or organization interested in joining our network of shows through a co-branded podcast, visit www.NewMommyMedia.com .
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