Miscarriage and Stillbirth: Pregnancy After Loss

If you’ve experienced miscarriage or stillbirth, you may have concerns about becoming pregnant again. But there is hope. How do you know when you’re ready to start trying again? What type of emotions may you experience with a subsequent pregnancy? And how do you process it all? Today we’re talking with three women who have experienced loss but have also experienced successful pregnancies.

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Miscarriage and Stillbirth: Pregnancy After Loss
Preggie Pals

Please be advised, this transcription was performed from a company independent of New Mommy Media, LLC. As such, translation was required which may alter the accuracy of the transcription.

[00:00:00]

[Theme Music]

Yvonne Rothermel : If you have experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth you may have concerns about becoming pregnant again. How do you know when the timing is right? And once you become pregnant how do you overcome anxiety associated with having a healthy baby? I am Yvonne Rothermel, a Clinical Social Worker specializing in postpartum mood disorders, birth trauma and infant loss and this is Preggie Pals, Episode 34.

[Theme Music/Intro]

Sunny Gault : Welcome to Preggie Pals, broadcasting from the Birth Education Center of San Diego, I am your host Sunny Gault. Are you a member of the Preggie Pals club? This is our exclusive membership club for all of our loyal listeners; you can get all of our archived episodes, bonus material after every new show and special giveaways and discounts. Visit our website at http://www.preggiepals.com for more information, Okay so let’s get started with today’s show I wanna introduce to your panelists here in the studio. And then we have an international caller calling on Skype but let’s start here in the studio Beth Franzese, kick us off.

Beth Franzese : Okay, hi my name Beth Franzese, I am 35 years old and I am in sales. And I currently have a 4 year old daughter, I have lost one pregnancy, I am currently pregnant and I am due April 3rd.

Sky Wilson : Hi, my name is Sky Wilson, I am 36 years old. I am a stay at home and I have two precious children, I have a 6 year old son and I also have a 10 month old son. Unfortunately I have suffered four losses in total, three miscarriages that were first trimester and a neonatal death of my middle son Brandon in 2009; he was full term and two and a half days old.

Sunny Gault : Oh! My goodness, okay and joining us over the phone actually on Skype is Olga Rojo. Olga is joining us from Peru, Olga thank you so much for being here.

Olga Rojo : Thank you, Sunny. Hi, my name is Olga Rojo, I am 28 years old. I am an English Teacher; I live in Lima, Peru. I have lost two children in less than 6 months, I am currently pregnant, I am due January 23rd.

Sunny Gault : Okay so, Olga when you say less than 6 months were both are the losses within 6 months of one another?

Olga Rojo : Yeah.

Sunny Gault : Oh! Wow. Okay and then your losses you are telling me 7 weeks and 5 weeks, correct?

Olga Rojo : The first one was 7 weeks and the second one was on the 5th week.

Sunny Gault : Okay, thank you ladies so much for joining us today.

[Theme Music]

[Featured Segment: Parental Fitness Tips]

Sunny Gault : Before we begin today’s show, here is some “Prenatal Fitness Tips” from Lisa Druksman of Stroller Strides.

Lisa Druksman : Hi, Preggie Pals, I am Lisa Druxman, chief founding mom at Stroller Strides where fitness is fun and you can meet other new moms. And I am here to answer any of your questions about pregnancy and fitness and one question that I get asked a lot is “if I am on bed rest can I exercise?” And if you listen to segment No.16 which was “the Bed rest Survival Guide” you have got some great tips. Now, the first thing I absolutely have to say is even any exercise that I recommend right now you do need to check with your doctor. So, every reason for being on bed rest could be different and so you might not be allowed to do any of these exercises but most of the exercises I am gonna tell you about right now are safe for most moms who are on bed rest. And usually great exercises when you are in the hospital bed just after having the baby so, one of the most important things you can do is just kind of get your circulation going and moving. And so, well it doesn’t seem like you are doing much just basic you know, flexing your feet and circling your ankles is great. But besides that what you can also do is do some sort of abdominal contractions were you actually are bracing your abdominal so, you are actually going to bring your belly in and you can make sure that you are still breathing and releasing and you can do that with different temper with different speed. If you can bring your legs to a bent position you can do a leg slide while you are in bed so, again engaging your core, keeping your abs nice and strong you slide one leg out and then bring it back in and then slide the other leg out. The idea is that you don’t want to be shifting your hips when you are engaging your core, if you are able to sit up in bed you can do some scapular retractions which is really essentially just squeezing your shoulder blades back. Again you wanna get circulation going wherever you can if your doctor is comfortable with it you can also go on your side and do just some leg raises. I think at this stage any movement is gonna feel better than no movement so, again if your doctor feels it safe so please take advantage of the opportunity to move your body and just feel good. And if your doctor does say “No” realize it’s not gonna last forever we will get you exercising again soon, thanks for listening to today’s tip and be sure to listen to Preggie Pals for more great pregnancy fitness tips.

[00:05:23]

[Theme Music]

Sunny Gault : Today is the second part of our two part series focusing on miscarriage and stillbirth, topics our listeners recommended to us and last week we discussed dealing with loss and in this episode we will be focusing on pregnancy after experiencing loss. Yvonne Rothermel is joining us once again; Yvonne is a licensed Clinical Social Worker specializing in loss, Yvonne welcome back to the show.

Yvonne Rothermel : Thanks, I am glad to be here.

Sunny Gault : So, let’s start off with the panelists, I wanna get some more information about your personal experience and we just, just did our introductions with a little bit of information. But tell us a little bit more about the type of loss that you experienced, Beth let’s start with you.

Beth Franzese : My second pregnancy I, I had 5 weeks started to have bleeding and was concerned because I didn’t have that experience with my first daughter. And so, I got myself to a doctor and had ultrasounds done and had done lots of the HCG testing to check hormone levels and was told that I had a blighted ovum and there was really never a baby in existence.

Sunny Gault : Okay, Sky?

Sky Wilson : My very first pregnancy when my husband and I were married for 2 years was in 2004 when I was approximately 6 weeks, they determined there was no heartbeat when I went in for ultrasound. And subsequently they had given me you know, some options at that point medically; I wasn’t prepared for that news obviously. I didn’t feel symptomatically anything wrong and I requested to wait in additional week to have another ultrasound and just be sure because it was early on in the pregnancy and obviously we were very devastated, A week later they did determine, that they confirmed there was no heartbeat and we went to you know, have a miscarriage at that time and I have been very sick that first pregnancy with Pneumonia. So we always thought that was the reason devastating all the same but we, there was a logical reason to include because I had fevers and we went on to have a healthy pregnancy about a year and a half later I believe with my son Gavin who is 6 years. And, and went for pregnancy and successful and carried to term healthy baby boy and so we thought that you know, that was behind us and we can go into have a second child. And we had become 2 years later become pregnant with my son Brandon that we did ultimately lose when he was two and half days old and that’s kind of a long story. It’s complicated but he had down syndrome that did not been determined during my pregnancy and so we thought we are having another healthy baby boy, I was 40 weeks and 4 days and completely unaware of anything being wrong. And we delivered a very precious little guy; they had some special challenges none of which were life threatening other than he did have some respiratory distress. So, I mean he was definitely it was a critical situation that he was in but one thing he was recoverable and unfortunately through series of events when he was almost 3 days old he had to succumb the respiratory distress and we lost him at that point. We definitely had a hard time making decision thereafter to become pregnant again and waited a year after losing my son and had become pregnant with what I learned was a daughter. And they told me, they told me like with Beth I had a blighted ovum it ended up not be in the case but I carried technically to 10 weeks but I had bleeding it started around 6 weeks. In the ending it wasn’t looking good but we continued until we knew further and tested the HCG ultimately I had a miscarriage and I think it was about 4 months after that we did try again. And that time had learned only about two days after I had a positive test I, I started to miscarry again so, it took a while and definitely a leap of faith before we come to a decision to move on and have another child our another attempt another pregnancy. And definitely went through a lot of discussions where my husband and I were at different places at different times rather not to do that and I can’t remember exactly how long later but like may be 6 or 7 months later, 8 months we had become pregnant with my precious little blessing. His name is Chase, he is 10 months old, I carried him full term he was 37 weeks and 5 days I think so, basically to term and an eventful pregnancy, healthy pregnancy, healthy boy who smiles every day and a little family. Journey as far as building our family and having children is completely,

[00:11:12]

Sunny Gault : Your story is amazing you guys are fighters you kept with it you had a goal and yeah of course, of course. Olga, tell us a little bit about your situation?

Olga Rojo : I was pregnant for the first time last year on thanksgiving was, it was November 24th my boyfriend and I were super happy. It felt weird at the very beginning because I found out I was pregnant and then two weeks later I had to go to doctor because I was bleeding, my doctor said “well, no it’s okay I mean, you are gonna take some hormones, you are gonna stay here for couple of weeks and will see.” After a couple of weeks they released me and two days later when I went for my regular checkup they found out that the baby was I mean, that I lost the baby but it wasn’t bleeding or anything. And had these, I had the procedure I was traumatizing I didn’t really like it and you know, I don’t wanna try again but then they found out that I needed two more after the surgery they say that the ovaries are producing something to feed the baby. I really, I didn’t really wanna talk to the doctor when he tried to explain me I just wanted to get the hell out of there and the doctor said “well, it’s the size of the two more and so, you probably need to have a surgery.” I didn’t want to but my boyfriend said like “if we wanted to try it has to be a 100%” so, I went through the surgery on January 30th and then February 24th I found that I was pregnant again. But the levels of HCG were not very high and they were not lubricating, I went to another doctor and it was too much for my body and I lost it in that 5 weeks. I was very depressed, I had to continue, I had to continue going to work because I had a contract, on May 17th I found that I was pregnant again and I was super, super scared. And on the 8th week I started bleeding again I mean, I just I was about to give up and I was like you know, this is not my job at all. And then the doctor made me hear my baby’s heartbeat and that’s when I found out I mean, I felt everything is gonna work out, it’s been good since then.

Sunny Gault : Good, good I am glad to hear that. Yvonne I wanna talk to you a little more about this at what point our family is emotionally stable and have to try and get pregnant again?

Yvonne Rothermel : That’s a very complex question and you know, if you look in the literature about this you know, a year is usually a good mark of time to give yourself time to grief. But families start half the luxury of time in these situations you know, someone who go through infertility or age you know, different families cope differently with that sense of emptiness and for some people it can’t be helpful to get pregnant sooner. I think when you start to worry is when people get pregnant again and don’t acknowledge the grief associated with it and try to push it down and just get pregnant again and without really coming to terms of some other grief around.

Sunny Gault : Like just trying to replace the other baby in the sense?

Yvonne Rothermel : Yeah, quickly and not feeling any grief is associated with it because what we know is that if you, the more you are able to grief the babies that have died. And the more that you are able to hold a place in the family for those babies that have been lost the more able you are gonna be able to attach to the next baby which is often counter intuitive for few people they think “Oh! You are dwelling on the baby” this and that, it’s healthy. But it’s actually the opposite that it’s so important to grieve those children and to hold a place for them in the family because that makes future attachment babies easier.

Sunny Gault : Okay, how did you know that it was time to start trying?

[00:15:08]

Beth Franzese : I think that when I was at the doctor when I had the miscarriage I just wanted to try right away, I just wanted to know that there wasn’t something wrong with me because I really felt that it was me. There was something you know, it must be me, it must be my body and I think for me part of that was because I had reached age 35 years which there seems to be like this kind of stigma around you know, once you are 35 years you better kind of make that decision. And it also, my daughter is 4 years I had terrible postpartum depression it took me a long time to decide to have the second child and I didn’t wanna miss that window when my husband and I were on the same page. And so, they told me I needed to have three regular cycles which, which I did go on to have three regular cycles I mean my entire life I had always been a 28 day girl you know, I had never thought that there would be any issue. And so after 3 month mark we made the decision to try again and I remember getting past that 5 week mark with this pregnancy that I am currently in and thinking “okay, I have got further along this time you know, I did last time.” I started to bleed again and then I just was completely devastated and thought “why is this happening to me?” and you know, but I did get myself to a doctor, a different doctor then I had seen with the miscarriage and heard the heartbeat that I hadn’t heard when I had the miscarriage. And it was the most amazing moment and I just remember thinking that I had to just think really positively and believe that there was power and positive thinking and have just stayed with that and believed that, that has helped me carry this pregnancy. It’s just you know, just thinking positively and not going to this places of you know, and, and I definitely did spend those 3 months grieving the loss. I know that from a medical stand point they believed that there never was a baby but in my mind the moment I saw a positive it was very much it was a baby.

Sunny Gault : Of course.

Beth Franzese : And you know, I spent those 3 months grieving this December would be that baby would have been born and so, I think about that.

Sunny Gault : It’s interesting that you mentioned the heartbeat because Olga talked about that too and I think even women have experienced loss that is the first time that you really think “Wow! I mean, I took the test she showed positive but until I hear something that sounds living you know, I think that is that resonates you know, so many pregnant women.”

Beth Franzese : Definitely.

Sunny Gault : Okay, Sky tell us a little bit more about your situation, your decision to get pregnant?

Sky Wilson : You know, each time was unique in terms of what I was feeling emotionally and when I felt ready for having endured several miscarriages. Definitely each time it became more disheartening because with the very first pregnancy our very first baby being or ending up in a miscarriage and seemingly at the time having been all those tragic explainable and going on to have full term children after that. It came quite a surprise to then go through multiple miscarriages you know, that were back to back and kind of like Olga was saying “you start to you know, wonder is it you, is it your body, what’s going on?” And you know, is it my age because I also started later on life to, to conceive I can say that is far as when the journey really got difficult obviously after losing my son Brandon in 2009 and that one took right about like I said a year. And extensive research on my part, I am kind of a researcher that has to understand what happened, potentially why it happened? Because unfortunately when you go home you know, empty handed and empty armed, empty cradle and empty tummy you, you just, you go home without answers too you know, that’s just were it ends and the story ends with no answers. And I think that you are traveling through the process of grief and going through that journey there is all these different stages and cycle and you can return back to certain stages of the grief that you are experiencing whether its anger, mourning or you know, all of the anxiety different you know, experiences in that process. And at some point you are searching for answers and at the point that I felt I had sufficiently come through getting closer through some of those answers or in my case I actually did reach some of those answers to what happened to my son. I felt like I had done, I had done something for him, I had honored him and his place in my heart and his place in my family and I felt that I had come through as far as I could getting information to feel like I have not closed that chapter but closed, well I guess I would say may be closed that chapter of the process but not closed the story on my son, But getting to a point where I felt like may be now I can move forward a little bit and so, it was about a year it was at the point that the fog of grief that, that leaves so heavy on you had lifted some. And I started to feel prepared for the possibility of getting pregnant again because we had come through all the first, in the first Christmas everything and the anniversary was passing of course on his birthday. After that when we have been, did conceive and lost our daughter that definitely made very difficult thereafter to make the decision of when we were ready and if we were ready there were you know, many discussions between my husband and I who were, I adore my husband, we have a great marriage and a great relationship and a great communication. And so, I was very grateful that he openly communicated to me too as much as you know, I communicated my feelings to him and in kind of working through that process we just had to decide whether or not we could like with the desire all together to go on to have another child or, or not. And we couldn’t, our desire never leaves to what you go through and each time you go through a loss you almost feel like there is a stigma attached to you that although nobody would say it and they wouldn’t. I don’t know if the world around me, our friends and family felt like maybe she shouldn’t you know, because of what we had to do already but that’s something personal to each person and each couple. I did feel lot of love and support from the people that matter most and we just decided you know, this is our decision to make and this you know, this loses what has happened so far shouldn’t prevent us from you know, completing our journey that we set out on. And certainly we didn’t think it is gonna take us 8 years to bare two children after we got married but it has and definitely between you know, the subsequent miscarriages there was anxiety, there was deep depression, a sense of hopelessness is very, very difficult to come to the decision. There was a quite a break in between my loss miscarriage and going on to have my son Chase is 10 months old through that process and we relied deeply on our fate. And just had to really find focus on making that decision very thoughtfully in laying out the information we had gained through my research and ultimately had taken that as faith. And I think every day I feel blessed to have the baby that both of my children, all of my children the angel ones too.

[00:24:04]

Sunny Gault : Yeah, Olga do you wanna share little bit more about your experience in trying to get pregnant again and that decision I know you did mention this already but is there anything you wanted to add?

Olga Rojo : Well, it’s just that not I can tell, the doctor tells you “Oh! Well you should wait 3 months 12 weeks something like that to try to get pregnant again.” With my boyfriend we discussed that, I mean after second loss I told him that I just you know, I just don’t wanna try again I mean, it was very painful. You just need to really trust that I don’t know god, your body or someone or both will help us and keep trying and trying to help for the best is, I have to be honest with the pregnancy. I didn’t get very attached to the baby in the very beginning because I was like “No”, if I really if I start day dreaming about my baby maybe I am gonna lose it and wanna cry again and it’s very, very hard and it’s very true. I mean you mourn your babies I mean, I start writing for my first baby, I start writing him letters I mean, how I felt and everything. The second baby when my doctor told me that the levels were not increasing and I, I knew that I was gonna lose it eventually. I started writing him letters and I, I kept all those things and with this third baby it took me almost I mean, I had to finish the first trimester to reach fully I mean, accept that I was pregnant and that everything might, might go well. I don’t know that lot of people have these plans and they want them in and they say “okay, we are gonna get pregnant next year or in two years or after we get married or something.” And that is not something that we can’t plan although that’s a responsible thing, right.

Sunny Gault : Alright, alright. Well, thank you for sharing Olga, when we come back we are gonna talk about the anxiety that many parents feel after they are getting pregnant again as well as what they felt after their babies were born. We will be right back.

[00:26:08]

[Theme Music]

Sunny Gault : Okay, welcome back today we are talking about miscarriage and stillbirth: pregnancy after loss and our special expert is Yvonne Rothermel, she is a licensed Clinical Social Worker. And we are joining here in the studio we have got two lovely ladies that have been sharing their stories as well as Olga, who is joining us from Peru. So, again ladies thank you for being here so for Yvonne, is it normal for families to experience anxiety in a subsequent pregnancy after loss?

Yvonne Rothermel : Oh! Of course I,

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Yvonne Rothermel : I you know, when we look at on the other side of statistic those mean nothing to you and when you have had loses especially you know, multiple loses. You feel like you are in assumptive world that you live in everyone is gonna be okay, this doesn’t happen to me you know, it gets blown so; you have a lot of anxiety. And anxiety is a big part of grief that people don’t talk about, people talk a lot about sadness and depression but anxiety is also a big part of grief you know, and also when a woman becomes pregnant again after they have had a loss it’s like the biggest reminder of what they went through. You know, it’s like having your mom die when you are in China and you have never been back to her house and she died then you go into the house and you see all her things.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Yvonne Rothermel : You are just reminded all those things and so women can be very emotional during those pregnancies, a lot women do what’s called emotional cushioning. It’s just a protective armor they wear were they try not to attach too much to it and then they are feeling guilty not bonding to this baby and then they feel,

Sunny Gault : That’s what Olga was talking about for several weeks she didn’t wanna bond and,

Yvonne Rothermel : Yes, but that’s completely normal when you have been through a loss you know, to try to protect yourself and you know, usually when that baby is born you know, the bonding is there you know, it’s really there. It’s just a way to try to protect yourself from all the anxiety.

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Yvonne Rothermel : You often see a lot of moms go into triage a lot more often, lot more doctors supplements and that’s a stress because then they feel like you know, they feel like that person again coming who is anxious.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, yeah.

Yvonne Rothermel : And then you know, it’s and some people are very understanding in the medical community about that and some people are not and as one of my patient had said their doctor said “Look, I can be your doctor but I can’t be your psychiatrist.” And had very little understanding of what it was like to have experienced that similar to PTSD, they go back to the triage room or they learn their baby died. And then they are pregnant the next time they had to go to same triage room, ticket checked so, they are having the PTSD reaction,

Sunny Gault : It is post-traumatic stress.

Yvonne Rothermel : It is post-traumatic stress, yes very often it is and it’s really minimized you know, very much minimized for women.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, ladies here in the studio are you familiar with the emotional cushioning? Did you recognize than your own behaviors?

Beth Franzese : Yes, when I found out that I was pregnant this time I just, I didn’t really wanna talk about it very much and it was almost like I got kind of superstitious about things. And just kind of that feeling of may be if I don’t get to attach it would be okay, I was just protecting myself from going through the hurt of it again. But after I hit that first trimester mark which they talk about you know, once you hit the 12 weeks it’s safe to tell everybody. And I think for me that really was a milestone for me was getting past the first trimester and then I was able to start thinking of it as a reality.

Sunny Gault : So, Sky you wanna share a little bit more about your, your experience with the emotional cushioning?

[00:30:17]

Yvonne Rothermel : Yeah, on the topic of anxiety in general and that was something I hadn’t really dealt with before in my life before losing my son and after losing him I definitely dealt with a tremendous matter of anxiety that was very new to me to experience in the very visceral reaction of the anxiety, the physicality of it. The tingling in your shoulders and the palms, your hands and the sweating hands and the feeling of shortness of breath I mean, like the very overwhelming panic attacks. And I you know, it seemed my doctor for that thankfully they offered me when they came they were quite overwhelming. So, definitely I had a lot of fear going into future pregnancies over what role that would that play to continue because of course your thought as a mom in your pregnancies that experiencing something like that is not good you know, your heart rising and all of that. And just feeling out of control of your physical body so I, I you know, didn’t wanna be taking any medications for it while I am pregnant and things like that. Well, I can honestly say that at least the worst of it is as far as like true panic attacks had subsided for the most part within a year, the triggers are still there of course but, but it’s much fewer and for the between. And it’s usually very huge life upsets tend to be triggers especially if it’s an emotional nature followed back by grief but in pregnancies as far as the emotional cushioning and what I did with that, I attend a support group and have for the last three and a half years since I lost my son called empty cradle. And spent a tremendous support to, to talk with other moms like we are now that has experienced is the feel understood and I know that this has been a theme that we have all talked about frequently because when you go through a subsequent pregnancies there is a lot of anxiety obviously going through it. And there is also a natural feeling that Yvonne was describing to feel as though you are someone who is emotionally detached from the pregnancy. But and I agree I think that’s probably very natural to experience because we have all, many of us that I have come to know through this process that I have experienced this have all described that I have certainly experienced it well. But what I can also say just is my opinion on the matter is that the moment and this from my having experienced multiple losses from the moment that there is a turn of events that anything might the again be wrong. Any bit of that emotional questioning you have done that you think that you have detached yourself is put a question immediately and a put a rest in fact because you are, you are attached there is no way that you are not attached. It’s, it’s something that you are doing mentally and the hopes to prepare your heart for something you can’t prepare it before because you love that, you love that precious little person from the moment you read that test and it comes up positive. So, I think that we are protecting our hurts against motherhood and it’s a fight we never win so,

Sunny Gault : Alright, okay we are running out of time but I wanted to end on a high note and that is for those of you who have you know, had successful pregnancies and delivered your babies and your babies are happy and healthy. I want to just share the joy that, that you have in that child because I wanna concentrate on that I really do because that’s what we are all after and it is possible and so, if you got, the ladies here in the studio if you wanna share how you felt when your babies were born and you were able to take them home. Let us talk about that a little bit, go ahead.

Sky Wilson : I suppose, I have tears.

Sunny Gault : Me too.

Sky Wilson : Going through that labor and delivery with my son Chase, my youngest was definitely an anxious time getting through the actual labor and delivery. And I kept thinking “okay, I just need him to breathe, I need him to see him, I need to hold him” and there is something that I had done, taken from me that I waited and endured a lot, take it back to and that was I never got to hold my son Brandon and tell him passed away. And all I wanted anything in the world was to hold my precious son and the moment he responded and they put him on me, the world was right again. And he has been the most tremendous blessing in my life, he happier than any little baby that I have ever met you know, and I have been through some challenges and my older son is, he is just my precious boy. So, they always talk about that we have two kids or more kids that you know, you can have your easier ones and your more difficult ones and it was just a more challenging pregnancy with my first I mean, I am sorry my first experience being a mom here,

[00:35:41]

Sunny Gault : Yeah.

Sky Wilson : Instead of my angels, my oldest was just you know, you are a new mom, I was dealing with colic and all that you know, that source was hard. So, my experience right now and especially everything I had been going through is just been blessed me on measure, he smiles every day, every moment and he laughs and he cuddles affectionate and I can’t say enough about him. He is just, it’s, it’s they are back into my life, joy that walks along side of my grief and but he has competed our family building on definitely a positive note and didn’t leave my legacy one of this tragedy a loss and I feel so grateful more that I can measure or describe.

Sunny Gault : Alright, Beth what would you like to add to that?

Beth Franzese : I am really looking forward to the birth of this baby and I feel like I have been given another chance and I had a difficult time with the birth of my daughter like I had mentioned I had very bad postpartum depression and anxiety. And I feel like were the past 4 years I have worked very hard to build a support network and I found great doctors through this whole experience of the miscarriage. And I am looking forward to having a better experience and better like I get a second chance and I am excited for this birth story that is gonna come and so, I am just really looking forward to it.

Yvonne Rothermel : You know, we talked about post-traumatic stress, there is also post-traumatic growth you know, and when you go through tragedy like Beth you know, unfortunately difficult it is I mean, some good things come out of that. I think parents who are parents after a loss you know, really, really appreciative of their kids not that everyone is into.

Sunny Gault : Of course.

Yvonne Rothermel : But you have just sort of a new found appreciation given how hard it was to get there.

Sunny Gault : Yeah, well said. Thank you ladies, thank you for being here and thank you for sharing your stories even though I know it was difficult at times but thank you. Thank your honesty.

[Theme Music]

[Featured Segment: From Our Listeners “What about the dads?”]

Sunny Gault : We have a comment from one of our listeners, this comes from a guy Shawn from Jackson, Tennessee, I am surprised that he used his real name. I don’t know if that’s his real name or not but anyway Shawn writes “Hi, Sunny this may seem a bit odd but I am a guy and I have been listening to Preggie Pals recently, my wife and I just found that we are pregnant with our first child. And I am trying to learn everything I can possibly learn about how to help her through the next 9 months.” Oh! Isn’t that sweet? He continues to say “I know your audience is mainly focused on women but I would love if you could provide some information on what pregnancy is like from a new dads perspective, thanks so much.” Okay, Shawn actually I am looking into this right now, your timing really couldn’t be better, we have a psychologists by the name of Danny Singley. If you guys listen to our Parent Savers show, he has been on the show couple of different times to talk about how men feel after their babies are born? But he also teaches a class on what men can go through during pregnancy? And I have been trying to figure out a way to get him on the show so, look for that in the future, we may do a whole episode with dads as panelists that’s an idea or soon to be dads or just have Danny on the show on another way. But Shawn yes, I am looking into this and thank you so much for being our token guy that visits to the show, we have received comments in the past that the men initially find the show since we are on iTunes. And then they tell their wives about it but this is the first you know, that at least a guy actually admitted that he listens to the show. But Shawn I am really glad that we can be a resource for you and thanks for being there for your wife, what a great husband you are!

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Sunny Gault : That wraps up our show for today, if you have questions for Yvonne about the topics we discussed today or other issues dealing with loss you can send us an email through our website or call our Preggie Pals hotline at 619-866-4775 and will get your questions answered. Of course I wanna say thank you to all of the panelists joining us today and Olga for joining us from Peru, we certainly appreciate all the input and the information that you gave for our listeners. For members of the Preggie Pals club this conversation continues as we explore our family’s decision, take a memory of the lives of the children they have lost. Coming up next week we are exploring pregnancy for plus size women, how does it differ and what are some tips for having the healthiest pregnancy possible? Thanks for listening to Preggie Pals, your pregnancy, your way.

[Disclaimer]

This has been a New Mommy Media production. Information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. Though such information in which areas are related to be accurate it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, Medical or advise or care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating any health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.

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