After you give birth your baby, your body needs some time to recover. After all, you just created another human being. Eventually, you (and your partner) may be wondering when you can have sex again. Is six weeks really enough time? How do you know if you’re ready? Will it feel different? How can you do it as safely as possible, and what should you expect?
Sex After Baby: When Can We Do It Again?
Episode 21, March 10th, 2016
Please be advised, this transcription was performed from a company independent of New Mommy Media, LLC. As such, translation was required which may alter the accuracy of the transcription.
KRISTEN STRATTON: After your baby, your body is recovering from both pregnancy and giving birth. Your partner may be wondering when you will be cleared for sex once again. Or you may even be the one ready to get things going on, but you’re not sure how to do it safely and comfortably after having your baby. So when can you have sex again and what can you expect?You’re listening to Newbies.
KRISTEN STRATTON: Welcome to Newbies. Newbies is your online, on-the-go support group, guiding new mothers through their baby’s first year. I’m your host, Kristen Stratton, Certified Birth Doula, Postpartum Doula and owner of Induced Season Doula Services. If you haven’t already, be sure to visit our website at www.newmommymedia.com and subscribe to our weekly newsletter. You can also subscribe to our show through iTunes, so you automatically get new episodes when they’re released. Here’s Sunny with more ways you can be a part of our show.
SUNNY GAULT: All right. Hello everybody. Thanks so much for listening to Newbies. So, we have totally changed things up on Newbies and how we record our shows and that is perfect for you because it’s so easy to get involved. So, let me tell you a little bit about this. So, basically now that we’ve switched up how we record you can connect with us straight from your own computer, so whether you’re at work and you want to use that computer or you’ve got a great computer at home and good Internet access at home, you can join our conversation.
Whereas before we did most of our recording in the studio in San Diego and now this is just really exciting because we get to open it up and you can participate from wherever you live. We’re really hoping that parents join us from all over the country, even all over the world. I think some conversations that we have with parents all over the world could be really really interesting to compare parenting styles and just make the conversation a little more interesting.
If you’re interested in being part of our shows, we would love to hear from you so our producers can reach out to you and see if you’re good fit for any of the shows coming up. So head on over to our website, at www.newmommymedia.com, there’s information on the site there, it’s a quick online application, just it tells a little bit more about yourself and you can apply if you want to be just a parent on the show and have these conversations just with us parents or if you’re an expert, and you think that you might have a good topic for some of the episodes that we’re planning. Anyway, check us out onwww.newmommymedia.com and get involved.
KRISTEN STRATTON: All right. Let’s go ahead and meet our panellists. Let us know your name, your age, what you do, and how many kids you have. Let’s start with Jillian.
JILLIAN DARLINGTON: Hey. I’m Jillian Darlington, I am 35 years old. I live in San Diego, I am a single mom, I have an 8-year old little boy, Taylor, I’m also the CEO and founder of the MomCo app, it’s a G location based social networking app for moms to find mom friends.
KRISTEN STRATTON: All right. And Jenna.
JENNA MCCARTHY: I am Jenna McCarthy, I am old, so we’ll just leave it at that. I live in Santa Barbara. I am an author, I’m a speaker, I write fiction and non-fiction and I have two daughters who are 10 and 12 and who shouldn’t have a mom as old as I do. But they do.
KRISTEN STRATTON: Well, they have a mom as awesome as you are. I prefer to think a bit that way.
JENNA MCCARTHY: That’s right.
SUNNY GAULT: Awesome.
KRISTEN STRATTON: Awesome is an official age, just so you know. Thanks so much for joining us and welcome to the show.
SUNNY GAULT: All right. So before we kick off today’s show, sometimes we like to review apps, as you guys know newmommymedia we have our own network app and then all of our individual shows including Newbies has their own apps available pretty much wherever you want to purchase or download apps. And we’d like to talk about other apps, because let’s face it, we’re parents, we’re on the go, and it’s just easier to pull up an app to get information as opposed to trying to pull up a browser or something on our phone. Right? So, we’re fortunate that Jillian Darlington, she has created MomCo, MomCo app. And Jillian, why don’t you start by telling us a little bit about what your app does and how it helps moms?
JILLIAN DARLINGTON: So when I saw the G location feature in the dating apps, like Tender I immediately thought moms need something like this. I went at work, because I worked my butt off like two years to make my amazing tribe of mom friends, and I just thought “you know what? Dating apps are doing for singles, let’s do this for moms, to make mom friends”, because man, I mean, having a tribe of amazing supportive friends really can make all the difference between happiness and misery basically if you’re…there’s nothing worse in being mommy.
So basically what MomCo does it’s G location based, so all the moms that live closest to you show up first, they can use the search feature to find moms with similar age children, common characteristics, lifestyles. So basically we’re just trying to have make it as easy as possible for moms to connect with other moms in their community so they can connect on the app or we have the play day section, the events section, so we’re really trying to get them to meet in person too. So we’re trying to breach the gap between turning virtual connections, because we all have plenty of Facebook friends but we moms need real people to go on walks with, then go to the park.
KRISTEN STRATTON: …and they get “Amen”.
JILLIAN DARLINGTON: …And guess that? Just to remind us that we’re not crazy and that we’re not terrible parents. We need that kind of circle to relate to what we’re going through, just to kind of validate our existence sometimes, you know, and we’re doing that with MomCos.
SUNNY GAULT: Awesome. So it’s available on the IOS and Android right now?
JILLIAN DARLINGTON: Yes, it is. It’s available for IOS, and Android and it gets better every innovations and so we’re excited and the moms seem to be absolutely loving it.
SUNNY GAULT: Oh, I love that. And it is a free app, so you guys can always just check it out, see what you think. We’re going to go ahead and put a link to it on our website and we’ll promote it a little bit on Social Media as well, so if you’re following us on Facebook and Twitter and all that good stuff, you’ll see the link there. And thanks so much for creating it, Jillian. It sounds like a great app and can help a lot of mammas out there. Sounds like it already has, so thank you for doing that.
JILLIAN DARLINGTON: My pleasure. I’m excited to be able to do that for other moms. We take care of other people all day long. I want MomCo to be something that takes care of mom.
SUNNY GAULT: Amen, sister.
KRISTEN STRATTON: Today on Newbies we’re discussing Sex after baby. [Dun, dun, dun] Okay. Our expert today is Zoe Etkin, a Sexual Wellness Coach as well as a birth and postpartum doula. Thank you so much for joining us, Zoe, and welcome to the show.
ZOE ETKIN: Thanks for having me.
KRISTEN STRATTON: All right, Zoe. Sex after baby. This is definitely something that new parents have to talk about, but when should a couple begin to discuss the sex life after they become parents?
ZOE ETKIN: Well, ideally speaking, if they can I think it’s important to start talking about it before you even get pregnant. If you have that luxury, so I believe many of us already have kids so you know, that’s kind of a bit different conversation to have. But I think if parents can talk about it before they become parents, couples rather, then they can kind of assess some issues that they might already have in their sexual relationship that would only be heightened into the time after the birth of the baby. So, if you can talk about it before your baby comes, I think that’s really ideal. The earlier on in your journey, the better.
KRISTEN STRATTON: So some moms are recovering from vaginal or Caesarean births. What is the recommended amount of time to physically recover before having sex?
ZOE ETKIN: Well, most men midwives at Newbies recommend waiting at least six weeks to engage in penetrative sex and the reason for that is that the uterus is still in its process of involution, meaning that it’s getting smaller, as going down to its pre-pregnancy size and that’s why there’s some quick partum bleeding and discharge as well. Most care providers want that process to be over before the mom engages in sex.
Another reason is that scars from a Caesarean birth or a vaginal birth could be tender and so you kind of want to wait those six weeks out just to make sure everything is healed well. But there are definitely some people who are ready before then and they think that just on like case by case sort of how you feel comfortable with that basis, but just knowing why the recommendation is six weeks.
KRISTEN STRATTON: So, what are some of the ways that parents can remain intimate or connected while mom does heal?
ZOE ETKIN: The first few weeks after birth I think even non penetrative sex could still be uncomfortable for the mom, and also could introduce germs into what is it a space that’s healing. So I think there’s definitely other ways to satisfy sometimes, to be intimate with your partner. I think with having kids, location of intimacy been a challenge for some people, the shower is a great place to connect with your partner and it’s usually this thing that you both have to do, at some point in the days, so doing it at the same time can not only just be logistically kind of good.
But the shower is nice and dark and warm and you can just kind of hold each other and have that physical connection and start cultivating that energy before you go on and have sex. Because I think it’s really important to build up to it and not feel like there is a big rush to have intercourse, but just building an intimacy before then I think it’s important and as we know, this is so interesting as we know with babies skin-to-skin is so important for babies.
It’s also really important for us to do skin-to-skin with our partners, all the same good things can happen of the nervous system connecting and our heartbeat and our breath so I think that’s a really nice kind of first step while mom may be not physically feeling like having sex yet.
KRISTEN STRATTON: And panellists, what was your experience those first few weeks? Did you have any desire to be intimate with your partner and how did that work? Let’s start with Jillian.
JILLIAN DARLINGTON: No. I mean I had a vaginal birth and I think any birth is extremely painful and if you’re breastfeeding your nipples feel like they’re literally going to fall off your body, so the last thing you kind of are thinking about is hey, let’s get it on. But I do think that it is very important to stay connected to your partner so you like each other, because you’re sleep deprived, everything is going to annoy you and it’s very easy to push your partner away during that time because you don’t feel like they’re very useful, because nobody can really do that much for your infant besides you especially if you’re breastfeeding. But I think what men can do and I would encourage new moms to encourage them and to do this, rub your wife’s feet, rub her shoulders, rub her, because she needs to associate good sensations with you.
If you’re not having sex with your partner, you’re not having that same sort of serotonin kick from being around, but if a husband or a partner can rub their spouse’s feet or shoulders it’s a very similar sensation and it creates that same kind of bond that you just like get it from being intimate with that person.
KRISTEN STRATTON: And what about you Jenna?
JENNA MCCARTHY: Jillian totally stole my answer, at least up until the part about rubbing your feet. I did not even want my husband to touch me at all. I felt like I have something pawing and clawing at me 23 hours a day, and if I had 30 seconds to lay down by myself I wanted nothing to touch me. In retrospect I’m thinking I wish that I had this app and I wish I had these women to connect with who could have offered me suggestions like that because it might have been really helpful.
But for me the truth is, and I’m not proud of this, did not like my husband those first few weeks, felt like I was doing everything, my life changed completely and he’s changed not at all. You know, he could like crack up on a beer and get up in the morning and go off to work with other grown-ups and I’m like “what am I doing here, what happened to my life?”
So yeah, I think it’s a really really hard time. I think it’s hard to, you know, I like too what Zoe said, you should talk about these as early as you can, but realistically speaking, you don’t know what’s that going to look like. It’s hard on every level so at least for those six weeks get through it as best as you can without killing each other and then kind of revisit.
KRISTEN STRATTON: I think I kind of have like a unique story. So you guys are going to think I’m crazy. So when I had my first baby I did not know anything, like I just really I thought I knew everything, of course, but I really didn’t know anything. And I had a C section with my daughter and my husband actually was, he is in the military, so he was actually going to deploy, he deployed four weeks after she was born.
Actually about two weeks postpartum, yeah I know crazy, we actually did have sex. And if my mother-in-law is listening, please mute. So, yeah, we did and I know now that while I was A, near not necessarily recommended from a medical perspective, but B, I was like I’m not going to have sex for like a year. So I’m going to do this now.
So, yeah. Anyway, that was kind of how that went. But with my second and third I felt pretty similar to Jenna, where I was touched out because I had toddlers and I was kind of like mmm, you know what, I’m just going to say no. And that was a challenge in our relationship where we had a really be conscientious about developing intimacy in other ways that didn’t involve sex in the traditional way. And go ahead, Jillian.
JILLIAN DARLINGTON: Well, and my question for you, Kristen is: did it feel good, like did you like it, like…?
KRISTEN STRATTON: No. You know, I don’t want to deflate my husband’s ego on my Internet podcast. No, but I mean, it was painful, I have to say, just even though I didn’t have vaginal birth I was in labour with my daughter and you know, I did hormonally…we’ll talk about this with Zoe later, but there are things that you’ve got to do to make it a little bit easier so yeah…But you know, it was nice to connect with him in a way that I knew I wouldn’t be able to connect with him for a long period of time. So I’d love to hear Zoe’s opinion on this.
ZOE ETKIN: I just want to say thanks for sharing all of that, all of you that was really brave to talk about. But what came to mind was you know, six weeks is not just like magical number when most women are ready to go. And I think that the ways that the culture portrays it around through the medical establishment is like “okay, six weeks”, like you can exercise and you can have sex, but that doesn’t mean that the body is ready or that the woman’s mind is even ready, but you know, hormonally the body doesn’t want to have sex at that point either because especially if you’re breastfeeding, because the body is kind of focused on that so there’s like decreased lubrication of the vagina and that’s not fun, you know. It doesn’t make…
KRISTEN STRATTON: No, it’s not.
ZOE ETKIN: You know, so that’s my view while it was painful for you and also we can talk a little bit more about this but scar tissues can also really make post baby sex uncomfortable. But that could be another reason why, you know, just that six weeks is not like this, you know, just like our baby is not due on a certain day, your sex life isn’t like you know, due to return at six weeks…
KRISTEN STRATTON: Must have at six weeks on the dot…
ZOE ETKIN: Right. It’s just not realistic for most women, so I think that’s important to just like forgive ourselves a little bit, like okay, it’s okay if I’m not ready…
KRISTEN STRATTON: So, when mom does feel like she is ready to begin having sex, what are some of the ways she can ease back in the things? Or does she have to just go back into like the traditional positions, you know, sex as usual? What are some of the ways she can ease back into things?
ZOE ETKIN: Well, I think some women, their personality and their body is ready to just jump back in and that’s great. And kudos to those women. But that’s not the case for many people so you know penetration can be intense with a vaginal or a Caesarean birth because of scarring and just through what happened to the probiotic flora through that experience.
So I think it can be really good to ease into penetration without the expectation that it’s going to lead anywhere, in particular, like really testing it out, like you could just start off like have an experience with your partner, feel comfortable talking to them about this and you know, let’s just try penetration and see how that feels before we like actually have sex, let’s just try it without this expectation of we’re going to keep having sex necessarily, just a way to see how feels.
Now, if we don’t want to do that with your partner, you can absolutely do that by yourself and I think that there is a lot of importance in exploring our own sexuality before we return to sexuality with our partner. So self-pleasure practices are really great. I think it’s a really good way to just reconnect your body in general after having a baby and it has changed in certain ways, so you can really re-familiarize yourself with that and then, also discover what might be new sensations and new aspects to it. So, I think that’s kind of a good way to start, it’s just starting with ourselves.
KRISTEN STRATTON: Are there positions or products that make this a little bit easier or what do you recommend to help a woman enjoy sex again when she’s practising with a partner?
ZOE ETKIN: I think one thing to try first would be to do some scar tissue massage, well just not sexy, I mean you can make it sexy if you want to, but a lot of women are dealing with scars after birth, either from a surgical birth or from vaginal or perennial tears, so those are going to be aspects that could make sex uncomfortable.
So if we work on those first then that can really take some of it, some uncomfortableness out of the picture, when we start having sex with our partner. So, scar tissue massage is really great and the best oil to use for scar tissue massage is castor oil, which you might be familiar with. And you just want to test it to make sure you don’t have an allergy to, some people do have an allergy to castor oil, but it actually increases tisome where is research around how it really can help break up scars, but that’s going to really help first.
Then in terms of good products that I like, I think you know, a good vibrator goes a long way. I really like these two brands Fun Factory, they make really women friendly products. And then Intimina, which you might be familiar with. They make vibrators and they also make menstrual cups, so they have like a lot of products for women which is pretty cool. Also Yoni Eggs, so I don’t know if you’re familiar with those, but Yoni eggs are kind of like a vaginal way, they’re made from different materials, sometimes jade, and you could actually hold those in your vagina and to work on your pelvic floor strength after baby because that’s going to be an act like that you want to give some care to after…
KRISTEN STRATTON: And I’m thinking maybe a glass of wine here or there. Or a beer, if you’re a beer girl.
ZOE ETKIN: Yeah. I mean I think why I don’t think of those first myself is because I think that’s the recommendation that a lot of care providers would give for women who have sexual pain, as like “well, you just need to loosen up”, but sometimes that’s true for some people, but I think also there is this other issue to address first.
But I think maybe making a date night out of it could also build intimacy and make it more exciting and sort of having that building of energy over the day, like knowing you’re going to have this special evening with your partner. I think that can definitely make it more comfortable so it’s not just like he walks in after work, he is “okay, so you know, you want to do it tonight?” It might be important to have some planning around that, so that you kind of know “okay, tonight I’m going to do it and you can sort of prepare yourself for it, if that makes sense.
JILLIAN DARLINGTON: Yeah. I agree. You definitely have to prepare yourself for it, and I would say if you can have somebody take the kid, like have a nap, like have a day where you feel like a human being again, like if you’re going to decide that this, like okay, this is the first time I’m going to have sex after baby, just have a day where you can try to feel as close to as a normal person and prepare to pump and dump, because you know, you haven’t gotten drunk and like probably like almost a year at this point and it will definitely just take away a lot of your nerves, like take a couple of shots of tequila, have a glass of wine, and you know, because it’s going to…you’re not going to, I mean our body has gone through this huge metamorphosis we don’t feel sexy, it’s not going to be this like “bow, chicka wow, wow” sort of experience.
So I think if you can be in a fun kind of silly state when you’re doing it, and not taking it too seriously, I highly recommend that, because it’s not going to be this red light romantic thing. It’s going to be more like the science experiment the first time and you’re going to have, you need lots of lube and not just for your vagina but for your mind as well.
So, that’s my recommendation from a one mom who had a vaginal birth, who had to have sex again and it can be really scary. So you need to emotionally and mentally prepare yourself for it, too.
ZOE ETKIN: Yeah. I think that’s really good advice, Jillian. I think that good tip about the lube, you know, vaginal dryness, you definitely want to have that with you, but the mental prep I think it’s really important too, and I think it can be kind of intense to think like something just came out of there and now something has to go back in there and I don’t know about that. The more work that you can do to prepare yourself mentally for it, even if that’s maybe talking to other moms about their experience, that could be helpful, too. And just kind of see what works for them and what they did.
KRISTEN STRATTON: When we come back we will continue our discussion about Sex after baby. We’ll be right back.
KRISTEN STRATTON: Welcome back to the show. We’re talking to Zoe Etkin about our postpartum sex lives. Zoe, sometimes as moms we’re struggling with fatigue, postpartum hormonal changes, mood disorders, and just a general feeling of being overwhelmed. How can we communicate these concerns to our partners so that we can build intimacy and instead of resentment?
ZOE ETKIN: Like I said earlier the sooner you can talk about this stuff with your partner the better, and I think sometimes people need a third party involved in the conversation, so I think you know, reaching out to a therapist, there is like coach, to break the ice. It’s okay too. But I know it can be hard to verge the subject of that with our partners sometimes because it can take the sexy out of it, just to analyse your sex life with your partner.
But the only way that here she is going to know that you’re going through something with your sexuality after baby is, you know, if you tell them, and I think birth with some women who were really concerned about that conversation and once they finally had it, they came to find that their partner was “oh, yeah, this is good to talk about, I’ve been thinking about this, too”. If you feel like it’s hard for you to have a conversation by yourself, by all means do some type of third party, or you can feel sex coach yourself and then just have them kind of coach you through the experience as well.
I think that can be very helpful, but in terms of the resentment, you know, I think Jillian and I were talking earlier about how intimacy releases good hormone that make us still bonded to our partner and so, like we were talking about in our last talk, using other ways that intimacy, too, that does that hormone release, like a foot massage or just kind of being skin-to-skin with our partner, kissing, that kind of thing can release some of those hormones that we feel, we still have those fuzzy feelings.
But I think when we don’t have those fuzzy feelings, we do start to feel a little resentful of them and sharp towards them, I know. You know when it’s been a while for me and my husband I start noticing all of his faults a little bit, more I start getting annoyed with him a little bit more, and then when we have sex it’s like okay, we have to get bonded again, because of that hormonal release. So I’m thinking to get those hormonal release in little ways that are not sex, if we’re not ready for that, I think back and just sort of often this situation.
KRISTEN STRATTON: Right. Because there are these presumptions that dads need sex to feel loved and moms need love to want sex. Panellists, did you struggle to connect with your partner after baby and did this negatively affect your sex life? I’d love to hear from Jenna.
JENNA MCCARTHY: Well, I’ve interviewed a lot of dads over the years and they all say some version of the same thing. Hey, like dear, my wife is so scary. She’s so scary, and when I ask her what she wants she’ll say these vague things like yeah, I want more help around here. And guys I mean, assuming you’re not married to a jerk. You have to go into it with the assumption that he wants to make you happy, he just has no idea how to do it.
And it’s kind of up to us and I know we’re like taxed to the Nth degrees especially at this point. But you literally need to say this is exactly what I need you to do to make me happy. I need you to change this diaper, I need you to take that trash out, I’m going to go lay down for 20 minutes and then maybe I like you enough to want to get naked. But if you’re not saying that, if you’re just going I need more help around here, that doesn’t fix anything, that doesn’t help anything, but I mean, the honour is kind of on us in that sense, I think.
KRISTEN STRATTON: And Jillian?
JILLIAN DARLINGTON: You need to like your partner, and I think it is so difficult to do sometimes, especially when you have a new-born because of exhaustion, because you’re physically in pain, because there’s something hanging off view all day long, I encourage moms to have sex with their husbands.
I think it’s so easy for to go so long without being intimate with your partner, that you just become like a partner, you become like a friend, and that’s not good for the relationship, because you need to have some sort of other like warm fuzzy feeling, or everything your husband is going to do is going to annoy the hell out of you.
So, I think you need that serotonin push that sex brings to bond you back to your partner, especially since there’s another human being now in your relationship. So I think sex with your partner after baby is one of the most important times for you to continue to have a good sexual bond with your partner, so you don’t want to kill him.
KRISTEN STRATTON: So are difficult births going to affect our sexual relationships? How can a couple overcome some of these traumas and heal the relationship?
ZOE ETKIN: I think the woman, you know, she’s going to need to do some of her own work around her birth trauma which could include physical work, like pelvic work, physical therapy, or scar tissue massage, but could also include more emotional work, like writing your birth story and sharing that and let's say in mamma circles and professing it with other moms, I think that can really help.
And then the dad too, I think there’s not enough opportunities for dads to talk about births and their experience with the birth, so finding some type of safe place for them to do that with other partners, I think could be good. But I think there are some other interesting therapy out there for trauma release that might be interesting to try, that a lot of people are not aware of, there’s actually a trauma release therapy called TRE, which just means Trauma Release Exercises and it uses this methodology of tremoring, it’s really, really cool.
Were, it really can help that trauma inside of you out to this nervous system response, so essentially put that out there, because I actually have a friend who does that work in San Diego, for the local moms there. If you’re interested I can give you that information, but I think together you just need to really talk about it and I think that there is a moral of all of these questions and the moms here have shared that direct communication is so vital in this time.
KRISTEN STRATTON: Absolutely. And panellists, when did you feel like you guys got to a place where you were actually enjoying being intimate again? Jenna.
JENNA MCCARTHY: Enjoying it? Kind of took a while. I won’t lie. At the risk of being a little bit graphic, at first I remember thinking “oh, my God, a nine plus pound baby came out of there. What on earth is this going to feel like?” And I was expecting one thing. Let’s just say I’ll just keep it vague. It felt the exact opposite of what I thought it was going to feel like, so all those comments about lots of lubrication, that’s going to be important and helpful, but I will not lie because that’s my emo in life.
It was two years before I was enjoying it, thinking about it, getting excited about the idea of it, it was pretty perfunctory for a while. I mean, it just was, I was so tired and although I’m a crazy person so when I had my oldest new-born baby I was also a radio DJ, and had to get up at 3:30 in the morning. Yeah. I pumped breast milk on the air; that was fun.
But I was so incredibly sleep deprived in so many ways that I just, I couldn’t catch up. And we had no family in town, we didn’t have a lot of romantic getaways, it was more like I’m doing this because I know I need to do it, but it is not the funniest. I can honestly tell you, I remember this switch like going “oh, I don’t know what happened but I kind of feel frisky. Thank God, I thought I was dead and buried”. Took a while. Oh, women they don’t start with desire.
KRISTEN STRATTON: Right? No.
JENNA MCCARTHY: Hey. They don’t have penis.No, I mean, we don’t start with desire. We don’t. My husband to this day we’ve been together 20 years, he’ll be like “you want a piece of this?” I’m like “no, never, I do not walk around wanting a piece of that. You can make me want a piece of that, it’s not that hard. But I do not walk around with a woody. I don’t have that capability”.
So I think it’s super important for women to acknowledge and for us to acknowledge to each other, so we all don’t feel like the weird freaky one, that’s not sex stop enough, that it’s okay if you’re not walking around feeling it, and it’s okay to agree to do it not when you hate him or you really really don’t want to, but agree to the idea of it and give him a chance to make you want it. Just go that far, like I’m going to let him try to get me in the mood. Because you’re not supposed to be in the mood, that’s just not how you’re built, so you’re good.
KRISTEN STRATTON: Thank you so much, Zoe and our wonderful panellists for joining us today in our discussion about sex after baby. And for our Newbies Club members, our conversation will continue after the end of the show, as Zoe will share some of her tips for tracking signs of fertility and avoiding pregnancy while breastfeeding. For more information about the Newbies club, please visit our website at www.newmommymedia.com.
SUNNY GAULT: All right. So we have a funny “Baby Oops” story that I want to share with you guys. We ask you guys to submit stories, funny things that happened between you and your baby, during that first year and this one was really funny. This comes from Theresa and here’s what she said:
“The only one I can think of right now is me driving to church one day after having my first. I had a little green escort manual transmission which means you have to put the emergency break up when parking. You guys know where this is going. Right? I was parked right at the door. So I left my little one in the car in the back seat sleeping while I ran into the front desk to get something. Then the lady said “go get your car”. I turned around and my car had rolled backwards and was leaning on a creep myrtle tree, I don’t know what kind of tree that is, about one hundred feet away from the parking spot. I ran out the door to the car, looking like a complete fool, I’m sure, and of course checked my baby first. He was still sleeping, I got in my car and removed it from the tree, and back up to the spot where I originally had it, and I got him out and showed him off a little, and he seemed to be fine. It was so embarrassing, he is almost ten now, so I must not have rattled him too much.”
KRISTEN STRATTON: He probably thought it was like one of those really awesome baby’s swings or something.
SUNNY GAULT: Oh, so she saw it was still sleeping. But oh my Gosh, can you just imagine what was going through that mamma’s head? I mean, it has to be something out of a movie, you guys, to see a car starts to roll backward and to know your baby is inside of it, like oh my Gosh, after you have like a little mini heart attack, you know, it must not have been too big of a hell for not to wake the baby. So I guess that’s the good side of this. If you guys have a “Baby Oops” you want to share with our audience we would love to hear it. So, you can send it to our store website, just go to the contact link or also to our website, there is a little grey button on the side. It says send voice mail, so you can actually send us a voice mail straight through the computer, and we’ll read it on a future show.
KRISTEN STRATTON: That wraps up our show for today. We appreciate you listening to Newbies.
Don’t forget to check out our sister show:
• Preggie Pals for expecting parents
• Parent Savers for moms and dads with infants and toddlers
• The Boob Group for moms who breastfeed and
• Twin Talks for parents with multiples.
Thanks for listening to Newbies. Your go to source for new moms and new babies.
This has been a New Mommy Media production. The information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. While such information and materials are believed to be accurate, it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, medical advice or care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.
SUNNY GAULT: How would you like to have your own show on the New Mommy Media Network? We are expanding our line-up and looking for great content. If you are a business, or organization interested in learning more about our co-branded podcast, visit our website at www.NewMommyMedia.com.
[End of Audio]