If you’re already a twin parent, then you already have plenty of parenting experience. But how do things change when you introduce a new baby into the family? How do you prepare your twins for the arrival of their new sibling? How do you encourage closeness between all your children? And how do you balance everything and everyone when you’re out and about?
The Twin Talks
Singletons After Twins
Episode 21, April 29th, 2014
Please be advised, this transcription was performed from a company independent of New Mommy Media, LLC. As such, translation was required which may alter the accuracy of the transcription.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: If you’re a twin parent then you’re an expert parent by definition, right? But how do things change when you introduce a new baby into the family? How can you encourage assembling bonding between all three kids? Even if you have a double stroller, how do you move all three kids around?
Our expert twin parent panelists are here to share their secrets of making this transition to success. This is Twin Talks Episode Number 21.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Welcome to Twin Talks broadcasting from the Birth Education Centre of San Diego. Twin Talks is your weekly online on-the-go support group for expecting and new parents to twins. I’m your host Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald.
Now, have you heard about the new Twin Talks Club? Our members get bonus content after each new show plus special giveaways and discounts. You can subscribe to our monthly Twin Talks Newsletter and learn about the latest episodes available.
Another way for you to stay connected is by downloading our free Twin Talks App. It’s available in the Android and iTunes Marketplace. Well first of all before we get started, I’m going to go around. We’ve got a few panelists here today.
Larisa Shulika: My name is Larisa and I have three children. I have twins who are four years old – boy and a girl; James and Ana. Then, I had a surprise baby when they were about 22 months; her name is Sasha and she’s two now and it’s been a roller coaster ride I would say. But, we love it. She was meant to be in our family; so we really love it, the third one.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Surprise but wonderful addition. Yes.
Shelly Steely: Hi. I’m Shelly Steely. I’m a high school history teacher and also the producer here at Twin Talks. So, I have identical twin boys. They’re going to be two in July – Greyson and Sawyer. I’m actually pregnant with a singleton thank goodness. But, so I’m just here to kind of ask some questions from you guys and find out what I’m getting into.
I just wanted to let you guys know really quickly about our Virtual Panelists Program. So, you can follow us on Facebook or on Twitter. But if you want to become a part of our conversation, you can actually use hash tag #TwinTalksVP to allow you to be a panelists from the comfort of your own home. So, make sure to check for those updates on our pages.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: All right. I’m your host Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald. Now, my girls are identical and they are 4 ½ years old. I can say that: “By the time they were potty-trained, things definitely got a lot easier. So that’s when my husband and I said: “Well, we think about having another one.” It happened very quickly within three months, we got pregnant. So, my singleton girl is 18 months old and she is now just starting to sleep through the night. So, I’m thankful.
Sunny Gault: Hey everyone. This is Sunny. I’m one of the producers here on Twin Talks and we have a special comment that came from one of our listeners. This is first segment we’d like to do where we respond to comments that you just send us via e-mail or things that you post on our Facebook Page.
This comes from Allison and Allison said:
Hi all. I just wanted to comment on your Twin Talks Episode Three about: “Annoying questions.”
Now, to give you guys some background. This was the third episode that we did for Twin Talks and we talked about: “Annoying questions that people commonly ask moms and dads of twins when they see them out in public and we were kind of lamenting on some of the things that commonly get said.”
So, Allison continues:
Specifically about: “Fertility treatment.” You may want to keep in mind that people who ask about fertility treatment leading to twin pregnancy might be asking not merely because they’re nosy but because they have fertility problems of their own.
I’ve heard moms pregnant with twins complaint about people asking whether they had fertility treatment often enough that I know not to ask. But, as someone who spent the last two plus years trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant, it is all I want to know. I usually will ask moms with twins about it if I know them personally. I try to do so in a respectful manner and no one has ever taken an issue with it.
Since I’m currently starting fertility treatment, I realize I have a higher chance of conceiving twins. I’m desperate to talk to other people who have had fertility treatments and/or who have had twins so I can understand and prepare.
She goes on a little bit further but the point is well taken Allison and I think sometimes I’m a twin parent myself and I have been asked by people I didn’t know if we took fertility treatment.
Ironically, my situation is that: “I had fertility treatments with one of my children; my very first son was conceived on fertility treatments. Then, I didn’t need it for my second. Then, I spontaneously conceived identical twins.” So, that’s kind of my background. So, I feel you on this. I understand both sides of the equation and it’s good to look at that other side.
So, Allison thank you so much for sending us this and for keeping our eyes open regarding to the sensitivity of the matter that people may have their own things that they’re working through and really may be inquisitive about that. So, I appreciate you bringing this to our attention.
Allison, to your credit, we have always decided to do an episode specifically on fertility treatments and how that relates to having twins. We’re going to be recording that within the next month and it was all prompted by your e-mail. So again, thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
If you guys have a question about an episode we did or want to just leave us a comment, we would love to hear from you. Again, you can post on our Facebook Page or visit our website at www.TwinTalks.com .
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Well, all right today’s topic is: “Having singletons after twins.” Today we’re talking with our expert twin parents. We’re here to talk about how they transitioned from 2 to 3. So, thanks for joining us. So, we’ll dive right in.
So, after having the twins, how did you guys decide when you wanted to have another child? Larisa, I know you said it was kind of a surprise.
Larisa Shulika: I was shock. We got pregnant the month I stopped breastfeeding the twins and it came as a complete surprise because it took us years to get pregnant with twins and then the third one just came aboard without even asking. So, we’re all happy she did. But, I was very scared and I cried when I found out that I was pregnant. I didn’t believe I was pregnant.
I thought it’s an ectopic pregnancy and I said: “This is an ectopic pregnancy.” I came to my doctors – you don’t going to diagnose yourself, it is a normal pregnancy. So, that’s how it was.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: So, this is kind of hard when you think you have a – when you have a twin pregnancy and then you kind of almost expect the other pregnancies to be either high risk or have some sort of layer of complication to it. So having twins already, we sort of become experts on reading up on all these different medical issues and what-not’s.
So, it’s almost seems like having the singleton it’s just like: “It’s easier and maybe we shouldn’t put as many expectations on to it.” So, you guys you didn’t really even talk about it when you’re twins are young?
Larisa Shulika: My husband always wanted to have four children and I said: “There is no way I am going to be able to handle four children.” We have come to terms. It just whatever what we’re given, that’s what we’re going to raise. If this is going to be 4 kids or 3 kids or I hope it’s going to be 3.
I am really happy with how they are together and the dynamics in the family. But, I’m not one of those people that wanted a lot of children but now I have three and I am just thrilled that having three, having twins, singleton and how they are all mixed together and they my twins loved the baby and the baby sort of rules them.
It’s just all great and now that they’re so close together that they almost can pass out for triplets. We’ve been told a lot of times because we carry them in the double stroller – all three of them. We just pile them in and they’re happy there. It’s great. I love it.
Had an experience of twin pregnancy and the singleton pregnancy and had experience of having two babies at once and then one baby at once – it just all so wonderful. I love it.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Yes. It’s a very different experience and that’s for sure. Now, Shelly okay. So, you’re expecting your third?
Shelly Steely: Yes and so I always wanted at least three kids. My husband was willing to agree it at most three kids. So, finding out we were having two at once was kind of a surprise and I don’t think we could have even thought at all about anything other than the twins for the first probably almost a year.
But, I think what change for us is when they started sleeping through the night, it was like: “Okay, this is what real life is like.” You can get eight hours of sleep, we can talk to each other after they go to sleep and then once my boys weren’t nursing at night by their own like 11 months.
Post partum is when my cycle came back and most of just triggered some like biological urge or something because I went to my husband and I was like: “Well, I know we talked about a two-year gap and a three-year gap.” I really just think that the two-year one is probably a better idea. What are your thoughts? He agreed.
We were both still so exhausted. So, just in the middle of everything; we just thought: “Why not? Our life is already crazy. So, why not just make it crazier?” For us it seemed like
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Why not?
Shelly Steely: We’d rather get it all over with at once because if they were just – we’d have a bunch of young kids at the same time but then we would be done sooner. I think part of it a little bit was a fear for me that if I got used to having my life back, it will be harder to kind of give it up again I guess if that makes sense.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Just go through and get it over with.
Shelly Steely: It’s hard now and we know it. It was almost like: “Once I got a taste of like being able to go out with my friends and to go out with my husband and kind of enjoy a little bit of what life used to be like, it was almost scary.” But, yes we were lucky I get pregnant right away. Then, I actually had a miscarriage but was able to get pregnant right away again.
So, our boys were pretty young. So, they’ll be two right before the baby gets here. I think my singleton pregnancy is been harder believe it or not maybe because it’s a girl. I was so sick in the first trimester. I thought: “This was the worst idea that I had ever had but the boys were still sleeping and still napping.”
So, I guess I have that benefit. Now, I’m in the easier part I guess. So, we’ll just see how it goes.
Larisa Shulika: I’ve latched on my second pregnancy was harder too. I was way more sick and nervous.
Shelly Steely: It’s unfair.
Larisa Shulika: It is and I gain more weight with singleton than I gained with these twins. I notice this but it doesn’t matter and had not gestational diabetes in the end. So, I had no diet or anything. But, in comes off.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: I know it is kind of interesting when we look and we compare pregnancies and again, kind of go back to those sort of numbers that we’re supposed to be following of our food intake and what we think we’re supposed to be gaining. It doesn’t always match up. It’s true. I gained 40 pounds with my twins and then with my singleton, I gain 35.
Larisa Shulika: I gain 45 as twins and 50 with Sasha. But with Sasha, I went like almost two weeks over due and over time.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Now, I think when we got a lot of – the singletons are coming pretty close spacing. Mine are three years apart and yours are?
Larisa Shulika: 22 months.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: So, less than two years and yours are going to be?
Shelly Steely: 25 months
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: 25 months.
Shelly Steely: So, two years exact.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Yes, so pretty close. So, how did you prepare your twins for the arrival of Sasha and what are you doing Shelly to prepare your boys for their sister?
Shelly Steely: Well, we got them dolls to see if just to teach them the word. They’re still learning words. So, we got them baby dolls. Then, I tell them: “You’re having a baby sister.” They’ll point to my belly and say: “Baby.” They’ll pick up their dolls and say: “Baby.” I think about all they can manage it 20 months. I guess they’re 21 months.
We’re also working on more self-care and independence with them. They can actually go get me wipes and diapers already which is great. Then, we’re crazy. So we’re working on potty-training but they seem really responsive to it.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: I think it’s a good idea.
Shelly Steely: Otherwise they wouldn’t even touch it. But, it’s going pretty well so far. So, we’ve move them into big kid beds and I’m really trying to focus on calling them: “Big kids” and giving them a little bit more independence, freedom and hopes that maybe that will make them feel like older and not so upset that they’re not the babies anymore.
Larisa Shulika: They were so little that it was really hard for me to even explain to them. But once I started showing, I kept pointing at my belly and telling them it’s a baby in there. They kept kissing them. But, they really didn’t understand and when I was in the hospital with Sasha, they came to see me.
They were just: “Their eyes were bigger than their faces.” They don’t understand what’s going on, why is mommy not home and my son didn’t want to have anything to do with me the first week of I came to the hospital because he was so used – he was the one that I carried more because he’s the one that cries more I guess. He just didn’t want me to touch him.
I think this is how he showed that he’s upset with me for not being there and coming back for the baby. But, at the same time – maybe two just maybe a week or two and they were just head over heels in love with her. They stayed that way.
They help and I think it depends on the age of the kids how you can prepare them. They knew something’s going on but I don’t think they had displayed that big of a change. But, I think: “The smaller they are, the less they understand that it’s easier for them to just kind of roll with it.”
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: We got some books for our girls. One of them was a cute little pillow picture story. It showed the picture of the mom and the dad and that they’re with their little boy. They go to the hospital. The grandma and grandpa come and stay with them. So, it sort of take some through started the whole process. I thought: “That was cute.”
So, they understood what our plan was – Nan is going to come and stay with you and when mom and dad are going to the hospital. There is a baby inside. The other book was really cute because it was one of those lift the flat books. So, it actually showed the picture of: “The mommy with the baby. Lift the flap of the belly – there is the baby.” So, they’re kind of got a little – there’s a little; I point on my belly, baby.
The funny thing was that: “The hardest thing they had a time understanding was that there’s only one baby.” Because of course, in their world, everything is two. We had talked about: “Okay, you guys were in my belly together, two babies.” So, when I was telling them – I know there’s only one baby well wait where is the other baby? It was just inconceivable that they could only be one baby inside.
So, that was kind of – I think a uniqueness of having the twins. So, that was a funny thing. So, through the pregnancy they kind of just the process then we were thought of being interesting that when we introduce by my little one – my little Michaela, how are we going to do that? My husband was kind of clever.
So, when we had her out the hospital and then my parents brought them. So, my husband got some little lollipops and said: “Look. These are the gift from little Michaela’s giving you a present – little lollipops.” It’s cute.
We have these pictures of all of us – we’re all sitting on the bed, the hospital bed. They got their little lollipops. They are so happy. The new baby gave them a present. Did you guys do anything special?
Larisa Shulika: We have our first picture when they came to the hospital to visit me because I was in the hospital for like about five days I think after the C Section and everything. So, they came and they have this picture of their faces. Just look at the baby – what is this mom holding in her hands? So, they knew I’ll be coming home with the baby. So, that was nice that I just didn’t show up and brought something with me. They expected something different.
I like that we have that come them come to the hospital. I really enjoyed that. My heart broke when I came home and when I just saw them and when they were still so little. Now, they have another baby in my arms and like: “They’re still so little and they become big kids.”
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Did you have any, have you thought about any plans of how you want to introduce the boys to their sister?
Shelly Steely: Goodness. I guess when I was just talking in my husband about this because it’s like: “I was in labour and then having in the C Section with the boy.” My entire family was at the hospital. We had – my mom, my aunties, my husband, his dad, my dad, my brothers – they are in and out of the room the whole time and they were all waiting at the hospital to meet.
It was just like: “There was probably I don’t know 12-15 people waiting to meet these babies and that’s clearly not going to be the case because my brother has a baby now.” My other brother also has a baby now. I’ve got two of them. So, someone’s going to have to watch all of these kids.
I’m not sure if we’ll have them stay with my parents and then have my parents bring them by or maybe have my husband bring them by. I like the idea of giving them like a gift from the baby but I guess it will just depend on what my labour and birth experience is like.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: I’m sure it will be interesting for you and for them to have a sister because that will be very novel.
Shelly Steely: I tell them they’ll have a baby sister.
Larisa Shulika: It’s nice. I got them a big sister and big brother shirts. I kept pointing at it and say: “It’s different for you now.” I have no idea how much some came but it might be for the cute pictures.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: That’s great.
Larisa Shulika: In the hospital, yes.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: I love that. So, his first few months, I mean how did you encouraged the closeness for them to kind of adapt on having: “There’s a three announce a three-some.” You go from twin to having a little baby. How did you encourage closeness?
Larisa Shulika: I don’t think anything special to be honest with you. If anything I think I was just so overwhelmed that I think I was yelling at them more and doing a lot of things that I’m not just proud of. But, I’m just very lucky that they felt the bond from the start. They always helped me. They always would bring wipes.
They would do things like that and I’m just really grateful that they had this and I think the babe is a so natural curios that they want to explore especially when they see another baby and they want to touch her. They never cautioned her anything – so I can’t take any credit what the kids are feeling towards each other.
I really always say: “When Sasha is sleeping, they can’t be allowed.” I think that’s what they hear a lot in the house. Somebody is sleeping. They can be too loud. It passes. It shall pass, right?
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Yes. I think my girls; I think the first few months, they were sort of – they almost treated her like a doll. I really had to say: “Okay, wait. No. Don’t pick up the baby.” I mean they were couple of times when they were just picking her up and carrying her. They went upstairs and like: “It’s freaking me out. No. She’s not a doll.”
I think their desire was: “There was to somehow interact with her.” They just didn’t know how to do that. Here we are 18 months later and I think it’s still really developing. Now, she’s at a point where she can do a little bit of playing although they put their puzzles together. They build a tower and she knocks it down. So, they’re kind of learning just to tolerate her in their activities.
Now, one thing I can say is: “Since I have all the same sex of all girls and my singleton is now wearing the clothes that the twins used to wear.” So, kind of when using that: “Look, this was yours. Look, she can fit into yours. Look when you were little, look you used to be this little.”
So, I’m kind of trying to pull them back into like: “They were once her size when they were babies.” Maybe a little bit of empathy, I don’t know how much of it is working. You know and I see now – how do you help your singleton feel special. I think as I ask this – I’m thinking: “Our singleton is pretty young right now; so they probably don’t know any better because they were sort of in the middle of things.” I’m anticipating that it’s going to change in the next few years.
Right now, my girls are going to be starting kindergarten in the fall. So, I think: “My gosh. It’s going to be: “We’re going to have this difference in activities and schedules that sort of thing.” I spend time turn. We’re still nursing. So, I think she gets a lot of mom time.
But, I do have to wonder when they’re all school age and she’s really looking up to her big sisters. Is it going to be a bigger challenge of helping her feel that specialness and uniqueness. Do you have new thoughts?
Larisa Shulika: I have to say that I think if anything I have to worry about that opposite – I want my twins to feel special because she feels special because she’s singleton. I carried her more than I ever carried them. Whenever she wanted to nurse at night, I could just bring her to bed and just lay with her versus twins. I had to put them back in bed because the other one’s coming.
It’s the relationship and even now, if she cries I pick her up and I carry her. My mom says: “She’s two. Why are you carrying her?” I go: “Because I can.” I couldn’t miss this. So, I guess I have to encourage. So, I have to be more careful to show my twins affection that I love them just as much.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: I think that’s a great point. We definitely want to talk more about how we can focus attention on singleton and the twins, balancing it out. So, we’re going to come back and we’re going to talk about: “Ways you can give your singleton and your twins’ undivided attention.”
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Okay, well welcome back. Today, we’re talking about: “Singletons after twins” with our expert twin panelists. So, how do you balance giving your singleton undivided attention and giving your twins undivided attention?
Larisa Shulika: You know family; you know it’s probably different in every family.
In our family there is a lot of just:
• Three of them
• Three of them playing together
• Three of them reading a book with me
• Three of them eating at the same time
I think because Sasha looked up to them so much – the little one. She started eating early at the table. She hasn’t been eating in high chair for so long. She started very early for her age. She dropped the baby food at about a year. She didn’t have eaten the baby food. I want to eat what they are eating. I don’t know.
I kind of give them attention all at once. She gets a little bit of time maybe amount of the day with me because I could still rock her little bed but reality is: “She’s smaller and I pick her up more. I do a lot of things for her that just because she’s smaller.”
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: I can relate to that though as far as kind of having to sort of divide up the time. I know like in our house, we got a couple of different play areas downstairs. I have singleton sort of her toddler stuff in one area. Then, I have the twins’ preschool stuff in another area. The idea was: “Okay, you can kind of keep their play area separate.”
Larisa Shulika: Does it work?
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Fortunately, not always so well. The singleton, she’s always interested. She likes the big kids stuff and they get really annoyed. But sometimes, I haven’t been successful in like we’ll do some crafts with the twins, they like colouring and doing some crafts. So, I can kind of sit them down at the table and get them busy creating stuff. Then, I can kind of be with the singleton and sort of just keep her busy with toys.
Larisa Shulika: What she likes.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Something like that. So, I don’t know if it’s undivided attention but I think it’s a sense where they feel like: “Okay, I’m working with them directly.”
Larisa Shulika: Coming down to their level.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Yes, exactly but that’s always a challenge.
Shelly Steely: I think the logistics are my biggest concern. My boys aren’t really big on being in the stroller. They want to walk everywhere because they can walk. We honestly unless we’re going to Lego Land, Sea World or Disney Land, we pretty much don’t take the stroller anywhere. So, I’m anticipating a lot of wearing the baby and holding the boys hands.
We’re still debating on whether we want to get a single stroller for the times that the whole family goes somewhere. But, with my husband and I’s opposite schedules and I know this is a challenge for anyone who stays at home. There’s always just only one of us with the kids. So, one person and three kids seem a little bit overwhelming.
The other logistics I know that a lot of my friends with three have been talking about is: “Where to put your car seats?” We have a minivan because we knew we wanted more than two. But not every minivan has the toddlers in every spot and every car seat has its own rules about where you can put it and how you can attach to it. You can use the latch or the seatbelt. So, I almost feel like I needed draw the map on where
Larisa Shulika: They did a lot of that too.
Shelly Steely: To seats
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Yes, there are a lot of logistics. I know we had a small SUV when we have just the twins and it was just two rows, theoretically seated five. But, it didn’t sit three across. So, okay we got to either: “It’s okay to get a minivan or the big SUV.” Then we went for a bigger SUV that actually now we can sit three seats across. We don’t even have to use that third row. It’s been so great.
Larisa Shulika: Sam here. They actually have a minivan but we can sit them on the same row because a lot of the times, you have to reach down to give them whatever. But now, she sits in the back by herself and they sit up front just to sit because sometimes if you have a friend and somebody wants to put the seat in there then that works well but I love minivans. It’s so convenient.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: I have to say: “Our tactic with the strollers has been – we have one of the Baby Jogger, The City Select Sports. It’s modular so you can either put two seats or one seat and then it has this little glider board.” I think there are a lot of other brands of strollers that have these little glider board.
Larisa Shulika: Where the kids can just stand them.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: They can stand in the back. It’s been so great because when my singleton was newborn, I had her in the infant carrier and then I had one twin sitting in a seat. Then, I had the other twin riding on the glider board.
Larisa Shulika: Everybody stops your ride and saying: “I can’t believe it.”
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Yes, it was great to have that kind of change ability modular function. Then, I do a lot more baby wearing as well. Even now, in 18 months, my little one will be asleep in the car and we’ve got to run in somewhere. So, I’d just put in the carrier and put her on me and she’s asleep and she’s asleep on me and we just walk around with the twins at the store. That seems to be working pretty well.
Larisa Shulika: Because you can just carry around babies – so that’s another blessing, don’t you think?
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: Twins, I mean I know there’s still young. I think all of our preschool and toddler age, if you have them in any kind of scheduled activities, how do you deal with nap times especially for your singletons?
If you’re taking your twins around and they’re doing their routine and then well, it is nap time for the singleton or nursing time for the singleton – I don’t know. I find it’s a challenge.
I feel like half of the time, my singleton she falls asleep in the car and I’m debating and I’m like: “Okay, running into pick my pick up my girls up from preschool.” I was like: “Okay, can I just run it and get out and do it really quick while she’s asleep or okay, we have to go to a store. So, I got to take her with me.” I find that’s a constant challenge.
Larisa Shulika: I think it’s the first year when the babies born, the third one it’s very hard because the other two is still young and still require a lot of attention. But also, you have to go places and they’re not going to because mine slept in the morning – the morning nap and I could not go anywhere between 9 and 11 and then the kids are up and needed to go somewhere or doing something.
So, I had a friend that came over a couple of times we can shoot to come to the park just walk through them to the park so that was a huge blessing for me. She did it for a year while the baby was in. When the baby outgrew her nap, the morning nap then we could all go places in the morning and then they all down for a nap and we still follow the same routine.
We still do it the same; they’re all in the same. I think the little one still needs a little bit more sleep. That is very little I can do about that.
Shelly Steely: We were a one-car family. We finally get a second one which has been like so liberating. I think I’m the only one who thinks it’s a luxury to go shopping with my children. But, my husband managed for almost two years being at home during the day with no way to get anywhere other than the stroller. I managed in the evenings.
So, you can get creative, walk to a park or just take them out if you have a yard or play area. I mean we were pretty relaxed about sleep with the boys if they slept in the car or whatever and we still are. So, I think that’s my plan.
I mean if we need to go somewhere and the baby needs to sleep – well, that’s what a car sitter or baby carriers are for, right? You got to let go of a lot of those scheduling and expectations.
I think one of my biggest concerns is making sure that the boys feel like they get enough attention still because I think our instinct does to respond to the baby first all the time and worry about the baby’s needs. I want to make sure I’m not valuing baby’s nap time over play time for the kids or anything like that. So, just making sure we’d make that balance.
Larisa Shulika: My baby could not sleep in the stroller or in the car. She did not. Some people like: “It’s a blessing she sleeps in the crib only.” I was like: “Yes, but I can’t go anywhere.”
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: You can’t go anywhere, you’re stuck.
Larisa Shulika: It’s just yes.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: We’re going to wrap this up. I just wanted to say: “Hey thanks so much to both of you for joining us today.” For more information about our: “Singletons after twins” or for more information about any of our panelists, visit our episode page on our website. This conversation does continue for members of our Twin Talks Club.
After the show, our panelists will talk about: “Having a single baby compared with having twins.” For more information about The Twin Talks Club, visit our website www.TwinTalks.com . Do you have any breastfeeding oops, some funny stories about nursing in public that you can share?
Andrea: This is Andrea. So, this is not technically public but what happen when my twins were about three months old as we got – there’s a plumbing leak in the house. The plumber came out throughout the wall and then he saw a mold. So, then the restoration people came and then they said: “There’s asbestos.”
So, this is the front entry way of my house and at this point where the twins I have finally figure out how to tandem nurse but they required the whole couch, six pillows which was the double nursing pillow and then all the accompanying support and four blankets. I took over the whole thing to have each sided launch them onto the pillow which was right in front of the entry of the house.
So we had the work crew for the mold. We had the work crew for the asbestos and then they brought in these giant driers for the mold because they ended up during the restoration of the whole entry way and the bathroom and then of course, with all the construction thinks they were problems.
I don’t know how many different work crews got to watch me tandem feed. I have my 8 AM feeding. I have my 11 AM feeding. I have my 2 PM feeding all on this couch. The restoration lasted literally 2 or 3 months. It was the tiling guys and the painting guys and the mold guys and the asbestos guys – I just feel like: “Hi.” They’re all like: “Two babies?”
But, of course I’ve got to feed them. So, I don’t know. They got the work maybe that’s why it took so long.
Christine Stewart-Fitzgerald: They’re enjoying it. So, that wraps up our show for today. We appreciate you listening to Twin Talks.
Don’t forget to check our sister shows:
• Preggie Pals for expecting parents
• The Boob Group for moms who breastfeed their babies
• We also have Parent Savers. It’s your parenting resource on the go.
Next week, we’ll be talking about: “Managing your emotions during a twin pregnancy.” This is Twin Talks, parenting times two.
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