The Expectant Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy

There’s a lot to think about when you’re an expecting dad. Our crazy pregnancy symptoms and mood swings can easy perplex any soon-to-be dad. But what are your partner’s biggest concerns during pregnancy? Did their lives drastically change during this nine month period? How do they really feel about childbirth and watching their partners give birth to their child? Today, we ask the tough questions to our special all-dad panel!

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Preggie Pals
The Expectant Dad’s Guide To Pregnancy

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Please be advised, this transcription was performed from a company independent of New Mommy Media, LLC. As such, translation was required which may alter the accuracy of the transcription.

[Theme Music]

DR. DANNY SINGLEY: You got her pregnant. But are you really ready for the next nine months? There are lots to consider when you are an expectant dad. I’m Dr. Danny Singley, a clinical psychologist and founder of Basic Training for New Dads, a class providing practical information for dads to be. And this is a special Father’s day edition on Preggy Pals , Episode 58.

[Theme Music/Intro]

SUNNY GAULT: Welcome to Preggie Pals, broadcasting from the Birth Education Center of San Diego. Preggie Pals is your weekly online-on-the-go support group for expecting parents and those hoping to become pregnant. I’m your host Sunny Gault. Stay up to date on all things related to Preggie Pals through our monthly newsletter. Subscribe directly on our website which is preggiepals.com and each month, one of our lucky subscribers wins a free one month subscription to the Preggie Pals Club. Our club members get all of our archive episodes, bonus content after each new show plus special giveaways and discounts. You’ll also get a free subscription to Pregnancy Magazine.

Be sure to download that latest issue of Pregnancy Magazine to check out our full page ad. You can stay on our website for more information on our membership program. So let’s introduce the panelists here in the studio. You know usually, this is so different for us. We usually have lots of pregnant women here in the studio and now I’m surrounded by just[inaudible]. Its like home you know, I got my husband, you know two boys and a male dog. So I am very used to this. Anyway let’s go round the room, introduce yourself, tell us about you know how many kids you have, are they boys or are they girls, is your wife expecting, what’s the deal?

ROB LAIRD: Hi, I’m Rob Laird. My wife is Annie Laird, she’s currently pregnant, due in October. We’ve also got a 7 year old girl and a 10 month old girl at home. I’m 35 and I’m captain of the MineSweeperand we’re here from Florida.

SUNNY GAULT: Awesome.

CHRIS CONTE: My name is Chris Conte, I am 38 years old, my wife and I had our first daughter one year ago, as last Tuesday it’s beena heck of a ride. I do some financial risk analysis for an insurance company and that’s probably the easiest thing I do anymore.

SUNNY GAULT: Nick, go ahead.

NICK CHRISTIANSEN: Hey, I’m Nick Christiansen. My wife, you guys probably know Cherry, she’s on the show frequently, 34, my daughter is Cali and she is just the most amazing thing, she’s also the most crazy thing right now, she’s 11 months and I’m actually a stay-at-home dad so I know firsthand that she’s crazy.

SUNNY GAULT: Alright Danny, tell us a little bit about yourself.

DR. DANNY SINGLEY: So, yeah I’m Danny Singley, I’m an itinerant clinical psychologist focusing on men’s issues particularly new fatherhood and transition to fatherhood. I’ve got two kiddos, two boys 6 and 8 and no due dates I’m aware of, and I love the study of fatherhood and being one as well.

SUNNY GAULT: Okay. Antonio.

ANTONIO GUERERRO: Hi, I’m Antonio Guererro, 32 and expecting a little girl on labor day ironically and she’s going to be my very first.

SUNNY GAULY: Congrats.

JOHNER RIEHL: That’s great. Hi I’m Johner. I’m the host of Parent Savers and also a freelance PR Consultant Underwriter and I think we’re going to have a lot of questions for Antonio today as the one expecting dad and what to go through here. I have 3 boys 6, 4 and 2 and we’re done also hopefully should be done. So, I’m not expecting anymore as well.

[Theme Music]

SUNNY GAULT: Looking for the perfect present for a new dad or perhaps you’re doing some last minute shopping for Father’s Day. Then you’ll definitely want to check out daddyscrubs.com. Robert Nickel a.k.a. Daddy Nickel founded the company and he is joining us now on the phone. Robert, thanks so much for joining us today.

ROBERT NICKEL: Great, good afternoon, how are you today?

SUNNY GAULT: I’m fantastic. So let’s start with the basics. What are Daddy Scrubs?

ROBERT NICKEL: Daddy Scrubs is the outfit for the dad. Its a medical scrub that says ”I’m daddy” on the front,says “I’m Daddy” on the back and there’s no mistaking that, that’s a daddy ready to go, he’s on the show, he’s notpictorial free, he’s not uncle, he’s not just somepainting that hangs on the wall watching what’s going on. And also it just looks Dad jumping into the game and become more invovle with the whole process.

SUNNY GAULT: That’s fantastic. I can’t wait to walk into a hospital setting and see one firsthand. I’ve seen them in different, you know expos and conventions I’ve been to, and you know I’ve seen your company around. But I’d love to actually see one in person. I think that would be fabulous,because you’re right. I think sometimes thats kinda shorten the stick you know.

ROBERT NICKEL: Right. Well, my belief is that, Dads are big part of the whole baby process and the sooner the Dad gets engaged you know its not just at the beginning of the nine months when the Dad kind of does his thing and then she gets pregnant. And then you have the mounds withthe growing baby inside of her and she has more mounds, she goes through the entire process. And dad doesn’t really go through a process other than being there to support mom, and help her out with you know and try to pick her cravings and get smells out of the way or you know, help her get up when she gets, when she is far down below.

The labor at the delivery room at the delivery point, that really really make it, the last month of preganancy when the baby can actually you know hear sounds and hear the dad’s voice, that’s when dad can really start getting engage or involved with that baby. Just having daddy scrubs makes them get engage, makes them be part of that delivery, even where they warm the baby, they wanna hold. I can tell you a number of peoplethat send these pictures, who in scrubs, holding their babies you know, thats daddy right on, right on the jacket, right on the medical scrubs and looks so good.

SUNNY GAULT: That is so cool. Okay. So Daddy Scrubs offers more than just scrubs. So what are some of the other great items for expecting dads?

ROBERT NICKEL: Well, what we’ve done iswe’vetakenthe scrubs and we also have expanded it into t-shirts so we have shorts sleeve t-shirts, long sleeve t-shirts that say “daddy” and “I’m a daddy”. We have hats that say “ I’m a daddy”. We have the daddy diaper pack which you can pack as your labor and delivery pack, and later use as your daddy diaper bag. We have the daddy’s bag gift packs which is the gift packs that we give out to all the celebrities and which we got quite a few celebrities wearing the Daddy Scrubs, and of course it says “I’m a daddy” on it.

SUNNY GAULT: I love it. I love the concept. So how can our listeners learn more about the items on your site and purchase them?

ROBERT NICKEL: Well, this is what they do, they go to DaddyScrub.com and with Father’s Day coming up, its a fantastic Father’s Day giftwe have everything on there, we can shipped it at overnight if necessary and we give out right too.

SUNNY GAULT: Alright. So DaddyScrubs is offering a special discount to all of our Preggie Pals listeners when purchasing items with their website. Simply enter promo code NEWMOMMY13, so thats all one word NEWMOMMY13 and you’ll recieve 15% off your purchase. So Daddy Nickel, yeah, Daddy Nickel thanks so much for being on our show and for creating these products that makes dads feel special.

ROBERT NICKEL: Right, thanks Sunny.

SUNNY GAULT: Would you like to win some Daddy’s bag from our friends at DaddyScrub, they’re giving away a gift set to one of our lucky listeners which includes a set of daddy scrubs, a t-shirt, a hat, coffee mug, pens, glasses, all proclaiming “I’m a daddy” which is a perfect Father’s Day gift. If you wanna enter this contest all you have to do is come on over to our website preggiepals.com and click on giveaways.

[Theme Music]

SUNNY GAULT: I’m so excited about today’s episode because we have a little bit of a role reversal on our show. Its an all dad or soon to be dad panel along with our expert psychologist Danny Singley and today is the special Father’s Day episode of Preggie Pals, where we will be exploring all of the questions and concerns thats really held about pregnancy and childbirth but rarely asked. And I should have to say that our sister show Parent Savers is doing a similar episode about what dads should expect out of the baby’s first year of life. So keep your hats upon us, so thats coming up a little bit later this week. Okay, so dads I have kind of a general dad question for our panel first. Overall, what would you say is your biggest concern going into this pregnancy or your wife’s previous pregnancies?

ROB LAIRD: What happens after the pregnancy.

SUNNY GAULT: Really that was your big concern, you weren’t concerned about whats happening during pregnancy?

ROB LAIRD: I had faith in my wife, I had faith in mother nature, you know I believe that everything that was happening was , it was a good thing and you know, just let things fall on its course. But I was just mainly concern about you know, I was a new father at that time and no idea what was going to happen, what the baby was going to be like, how we’re going to be as parents, all that stuff. So I was more concern about just the birth of our baby.

NICK CHRISTIANSEN: I think while my wife was still pregnant, the baby wasn’t necessarily real yet, it was just a concept so I think really some emotions coming out to protect my wife and take care of her but on the same token, I remember is we weren’t quite ready to adjust our lifestyle yet. I remember we were playing on a coed softball league, even after we found out she was pregnant, like she still played a couple of games and then you know, I think there were like a jostle, like something, like at first base, something that another player entering like maybe we should start being a little more seriuos about taking care of you apparently.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah , yeah. Did any of you guys feel like you were pregnant too along with your wife, I mean you hear about that, I’m not talking about just gaining weights, I’m talking about just the emotions of what your wife is experiencing. Sometimes dads say that they kind of go along that ride with them. Did anyone experienced that or did you really feel like, this is more your wife’s pregnancy and you were there to support her?

ANTONIO GUERERRO: Well, interesting ‘coz you feel, ‘coz she drop, she cries at a drop of a hat. We’re watching, you watched the movies where there’s aliens getting blown up then the cosco explodes. And the cosco exploding brought her to tears and that will bring me to tears too.

NICK CHRISTIANSEN: Think, just think about the diapers you clean too

ANTONIO GUERERRO: So its interesting to watch kind of outside and then for moments that are touching that me and my wife watch on TV or hear about where I normally wouldn’t get choked up, seeing her getting choked up, starts getting me misty eyed you know, so its really weird in that sense.

SUNNY GAULT: Alright, what else?

JOHNER RIEHL: I remember struggling a little bit with the pronounce like “oh yeah, we’re pregnant,I mean she’s pregnant, I mean I’m not pregnant, I just”, but I mean she would welcome that and to seem was really like you know it is, we’re a team going into this together and you still feel bad because as a dad you’re really not doing as much work she is doing.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah, how do you guys feel about that term, we’re pregnant as opposed to my wife is pregnant or I’m pregnant or whatever. How do you guys feel about that?

CHRIS CONTE: We were definitely pregnant. My wife’s a doula also and so it was a really educational process for me,there was a whole lot of that emotional tie to it. I was trying to learn. I’m not in the birth industry at all, I’ve never been , I’m not, I was completely ignorant doing it. So getting the education from her was kind of nice to be able to you know, learn with her soft touch bringing me in. But that being said, everybody that was involved in our birth was an expert and here I am being the only guy thats neverbeen involved whatsoever. So its different for me.

ROB LAIRD:Yeah. Both Annie and I were outside the birth world we’re moving in. She’s a duola now but she wasn’tduring our first one seven years ago and we were actually both naval officers. And we kind of wing into it with the very traditional, we were going to the hospital because thats what we did and I at that time, I was very concern about her. I wasn’t too concern about the kid yet but I knew there will be plenty of time to be concerned following but I know we had to get there first.

In fact I’m still more concern about being a good dad than I am about you know, things that could happen to Annie. But we also had that ectopic after, you know between those seven years, between my first one and my 10-month old. So I had those nail-biting “ oh my God, she’s lost a third of her blood volume”, feelings in the hospital like “ oh my God, am I going to come here as a family and leave as a single dad?” you know I’d had that, that fear. So, given such I’m much more supportive now that she’s a duola and I know more.

At first you know, first kid, we would not have even considered the concept of having a home birth. And now you’d have to drag me kicking and screaming into the hospital you know because I was after about a week of being there, after my first daughter was born, I was ready to sign the form, show me where I have to find, whatever exemption there is to get my family out of this crazy place. And so I’ve kinda come full circle on that front.

SUNNY GAULT: So, Danny, how important is it for dads to get involved in a pregnancy because I know thats one of the things that sometimes dads can feel left out you know. Like , my wife is pregnant, I know we’re having this baby, I know this is coming out at nine months but at the same time, there was a detachment sometimes. And I know one of the ways to overcome that is to get involved, right?

DR DANNY SINGLEY: It can and I guess thats why, going back to your question about, talking about she’s pregnant versus we’re pregnant and frankly I give you credit for saying we had an ectopic pregnancy. That’s talking ownership of the whole process you know, of your role in it. So change could be much more concrete, you had you know the biological development and the actual baby bump you know except for sympathetically and my experience is that Dads very typically get into place of feeling like theres nothing I can do except be a pocket or somebody that builds bassinets and paints and things like this or just supportive with mom.

But my thought is that most typically, the ways that dads can be very engage with mom during the pregnancy is to start taking a look you know, be there, communicate, be a good partner and all these things. Its to start looking forward in a strategic way, think about okay, heres going to come after the baby’s birth. And then, how can I start anticipating my needs as well as her needs? You’re going to both be focus on the baby’s needs, you don’t have to worry about figuring that one out beforehand but its identifying those needs and trying to meet them.

And so these things like, you know how can we keep our relationship strong on the other side of the birth? How can I personally be directly involved in the baby’s medical health? And sort of you know, take a look at it. If you step away from that men are from Mars and women are from Venus approach and say “listen my ladies I can do everything she can do except for one important element ,had labor channels but beyond that I can do anything”. And so taking that kind of perspective, its just being involved with mom and baby.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah. What did you guys do , what did you dance to help stay involved in the pregnancy to be there for your wives, what work in your situation?

NICK CHRISTIANSEN:Well for me right now, we’re doing hypnobabies together which is very involved, I have a lot of homework, but it keeps me part of everything. I mean we’re doing scripts during the evening before bedtime and I’ll be doing scripts up until our baby slides on out

SUNNY GAULT: Nick, define what scripts are for those who are not familiar with hypnogramme

NICK CHRISTIANSEN: Hypnotic scripts to put the mother ready so that the pregnancy could be drug free and painfree. Actually pain is not the word they used in hypnobaby just pressure. So, that smooth happy entering of the baby into this world.

CHRIS CONTE:We did both, hypnobirthing and hypnobabies because my wife knows so many people in the industry with side?? Overborne and I thought the class did really help. I found that its lot easier to connect with pregnancy when I could start feeling the baby moving in the belly and then we started playing games you know.

From there we would play music and you would see a physical response and then there would be interaction between the three of us. I felt like we were really connecting as a family before the baby even came out. And we had, we didn’t find out gender prior to so that was another way that kinda sort of guessing game, oh that feels like the way a girl would kick, or a boy would kick like that

NICK CHRISTIANSEN:Did you have a nickname?Like for the baby when it wasn’t even born?

CHRIS CONTE:We did. Its kind of silly and we still use it now but we just called it baby facie and it sort of play out the nickname that we have of, that I have for my wife. But...

JOHNER RIEHL:Yeah, its one thing that we did too. Its kind of name the baby and yeah once it started moving and you kind, we kind of sort established family rituals you know. We wing into it, thats something that we wanted to it, reading to the baby you know, reading and being, establishing those things that we wanted to carry through until the baby is born. Yeah it definitely did start feeling more like a three, a unit of three instead of a unit of two.
SUNNY GAULT: Uhuh. So what are some, I guess this is a question for Danny, what are some typical changes that occur during pregnancy that a dad, expecting dad should prepare for?

DR DANNY SINGLEY: Asyou know so any change at this stage is a typical one.Financial preparations to make and then with any kind of a transition like this, it bring some level of adjustments. Stress does not have to be high or low but its going to be there. You know, it doesn’t get a lot of play but men have been shown to have fairly consistent hormonal changes at around and then, and then after the birth of the baby as well.

That is often, theres no causality established but there, given the hormones that they are, they relate to stress and parent bonding and levels high or low of them have mention to correlate with prenatal and post partum depression and anxiety as well. Heyto me, pulling back from all that, the biggest changes, your time looks different. And for me, my personal experience its a big change for me that I thought was really helpful was that I sat down and basically did this values clarification exercise for myself.

What are my top five values now, how much time do I spend in them and then projecting forward, can I guess what they’re going to be and then held on to that. How much time do I spend in them and what can I do to spend more time so that they’re more balanced? And it didn’t worked. I wanted it to but to me, it is a very important way to take a look. I know all the dashes and dots to connect the parts here but how can I, how can I not just be reactive and try to be proactive and tough in the process.

SUNNY GAULT: Right. So a question for the dads then would be, you know we’re talking about pregnancy here not after the baby arrives, but did your life changed during your wife’s pregnancy?

ROB LAIRD: Yeah, yeah. I think pregnancy should be called change. I mean the whole, everything that happensin the pregnancy, what comes afterward is changed. Your relationship with your spouse is changing, your role in the relationship is changing, like what danny was saying, your time changes. Your expectations for yourself changed, I mean its all, everything changes. So my focus was less on me, less on just my personal thoughts and now all about family, all about life, making a comfortable environment for her and for the future baby. Patience and change, I think thats what its all about.

SUNNY GAULT: Yeah.

NICK CHRISTIANSEN: Well, mine’s kind of a childbirth class too but it kind of crystallizes this notion that everything is going to be different is the first childbirth class that we had which is oh so important because its the first one that you’re doing specially when you’re going through it. So we couldn’t miss it. But it was on a Cardinals Sat and I say “look, its game seven of the NLCS, to go to, winner would go to the world series”.And Cardinals haven’t been to world series in a while at that point so I was really excited for it. But I have to go to the childbirth class too.

And so it was a little easier then but I like, one of my biggest focus is was just, yeah we’ll go to the class but I don’t wanna talk to anyone in case they’re checking the score or know anything. I put CDs on the radio but it really kind of crystallized for me though that yeah like dude its not all about you anymore and its not going to be all about you again. And sure, I wanna try to hold on to those things that are important to me but absolutely life’s changing. I thought that was really good illustration of it.

SUNNY GAULT: Alright. When we come back we’ll talking about childbirth. What do you mean ? Its not like the movies. Our dads will share their experiences as well as the advice they have for other dads to be. We’ll be right back.

[Theme Music]

SUNNY GAULT: Welcome back. Today we are taking a look at pregnancy and childbirth from the dad’s perspective. Psychologist Danny Singley, founder of Basic Training For New Dads is our expert. Alright, so for our dad panelists lets talk about childbirth. What were your biggest concerns going into childbirth. I know you guys mentioned that a lot of you took classes with your wives, were there still concerns? Was it near what Danny talk about the unknown, was the unknown like a big question mark for you guys? Antonio, how do you feel since your wife is currently pregnant?

ANTONIO GUERERRO: Yeah. Theres a lot not known and when exactly shes going to come and we’re trying to do everything naturally and hope that that could happen. But you know we were just really hoping that everything goes smooth and we can follow our birth plan. Yeah its really scary and thats why we picked a happy medium using the birth center here, which is one part hospital, one part natural just to at least put me at ease. As far as Chris is concern she’d rather have a homebirth but that would freak me out too much.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah I was concern about you know the actual how much it was going to hurt my wife. And like this big thing but its going tol come out there, like just the sympathetic pains, oh my God I can’t even imagine what that must be like and just that oh my God she’s going to be hurting so bad I can’t imagine. Yes, billions of women have done this before but oh my gosh I can’t believe she has to go through that. And , but on the same token, I don’t want her to know that I’m not freak out about it because she’s birthing, exactly and yet it was something that was a huge concern for me when she was pregnant, all three times.

SUNNY GAULT: You know I found it very interesting. My husband is in a profession where he sees kind of lot of mass chaos and bad things happening to people and whatever and people on pain or whatever. And I thought it was really interesting going into both our previous births but you know its one thing for him to deal with crisis type situations with other people. But when its your wife thats on the operating table, when its your wife pushing out the baby and in pain, its a whole new ballgame.

I really thought he would have his game face on and treat me like he does the other people he comes into contact with the work and it was very difficult for him. And I’m used to really seeing my husband in this very, not he was in the masculine role when my children were born but it was more of a vulnerable position. It was very interesting for me to see that. He was still my rock, he was still there to support me but I saw this whole new side of him. So I think its interesting because you don’t really know whats going to happen until it happens you know.

We see this like, I feel like TV and movies dramatizes so much I ain’t so annoyed with the way I watched movies now with people pushing babies ‘coz I’m like oh how did that birth timed out at the end of that song? Thats amazing they did that you know. If I just had three minutes of labor, that would be great. But I know, you know, we perceive these things because this is kind of what the media feeds us. And then when we go into this process, its totally different. Right?

NICK CHRISTIANSEN: We woke up early that morning and there was a lot of chaos going on. And she look me in the eyes and said “ I think today is the day”. And I said “oh, great. This is, we’re ready, we’re totally ready”. We had the financial aspect kind involve taken care of them, my big concern the whole time that was really hard to get away from was what if something goes wrong? We’re having homebirth, she’s been a part of many many homebirths and I analize risk for a living.

So I’m sitting there, making a decision there the entire pregnancy. Okay, is this a good idea, does this makes sense? And you start hearing different stories talking to people. I talked to everybody I could you know, anybody’s ear I could bend I would. And it seems to make sense you know people had been doing this for years and years and years and they didn’t have hospitals back then. So, this kind of make sense. But we started early in the afternoon when only, and the pushing stage was extremely long. She was pushing for a while over eleven hours. And we had some complications.

So, but you don’t, theres no way to prepare yourself for that. That thing you just can’t get ready for. And then your mind alternates between is everything going okay, is everything going to be alright, is she okay, is the baby okay? And we’re just, its hard to stop the roller coaster emotions , it ain’t gone pretty quickly.

JOHNVER RIEHL: Its crazy. The childbirth was probably the most real experience in my life you know. I’ve in my former life I was consulting, I didn’t really have a lot of drama going on in my life, so this was raw, it was real. I felt like I was taken back to some primal age you know and experiencing something you know. All of this in some shape or form of experiences we’ve been through ourselves whether or not we’re a parent you know, we’re born so I was very dumbstruck and put in awe about the whole experience and just blown away by everything that transpired going out.

One of the, I was going to say that it was real raw experience but after I think it was our second one, he came out and the cord was around his neck. And what Cristina had said to me was like, she couldn’t really see whats going on down there so its fine. But she saw my face, kind of reacting. In that moment like theres no thinking of putting up a front or trying to be a rock. I mean its your baby is coming out of your wife and so my eyes kind of bulged and I may be gasping a little bit and then she kind of look at me. But you know just kind of remembering that its a raw moment but she’s still looking to you for support if you’re right there and how you’re reacting.

CHRIS CONTE: Yeah that was the thing that was really hard for me to get across coz I’m a mechanical engineer, chief engineer, navy stuff I’m used to fixing things. And this you can’t fix. Its not, your wife is in pain and she has to get through it. I wished I had a duola back then to tell me that okay, she’s in a lot of pain but its normal pain you know. I’m not sure, I’m not even sure now if I could tell just by you know looking, saying okay well this is a normal thing and okay thats different you know.

One of the very first things we established in our team of helpers per se was that everyone in the room is an expert but me. And there going to be times when I needed to just make eye contact with somebody and get like a wink and nod back that this is normal and everything is fine. And that would set me straight because I didn’t wanna turn into some you know nervous wreck when something was going on, because this is a pretty intense experience you know. Its not a trip to the store.

There are a lot of times where , just give me a wink and a nod that this is just the way this is supposed to be going on and you get that wink and nod backand thats going to be okay.

ROB LAIRD: Chris, I’m really glad to hear you say that, because it just initially piggyback a foot to what Johnver has to say you know, I’m supposed to be the rock. I’m supposed to be one you know providing support but then also I’m supposed to fix it. And nothing is jobbut taken to extremes both of those positions can actually be alienating, can actually be you know, I’m a provider, I don’t need to have support given to me, I’m a fixer.

Can oftentimes be simply driven by I know that you are in distress, thats distressing to me. In order to manage my anxiety rather than really focus on you and your distress, I’m focus on fixing. And I can actually be distancing as opposed to something which is, its kind of a head shake. Thats broken and I need to fix it. But the reality is just being here with you I mean genuine with you is usually the most useful thing that you can do. So I’m really glad to hear you owning there are times when I need support and I need support from somebody else right there. And when I get it, I’m going back to the game.

SUNNY GAULT: You know, I think one of the things that we as women are concerned about especially with the first time birth and even pregnancy is how is my husband going to view me after this experience. Because its such a personal thing and your body changes drastically and it may not bounce back to the way it was prior and theres just a lot of things happening you know. In addtion to your physical body changing, your emotional state is changing and then after the baby comes out you’re breastfeeding suddenly you’ve got huge boobs and you’re not fitting in any of your clothes. Theres a lot of stuff going on. So I would love to basically just ask you guys. How do you feel about your wives now? I think a lot of women would be pleasantly surprise to know that a lot of men have a newfound respect for them and I’ll think they hear that enough really.

NICK CHRISTIANSEN: One hundred percent. I think my wife is the most amazing woman and now going through that doing what she did, blown away, blown away. I have such love and respect more than I can even imagine before the experience. And all those things you’re talking about, that you thought maybe my husband, you know my clothes aren’t fitting, my body is different, nothing. That doesn’t even cross my mind. And I look at her and see nothing but love and rainbows falling out of her.

SUNNY GAULT: That's so sweet.

CHRIS CONTE: Plus the huge boobs. Of course yes. We used to joke when we see women down the street “oh she must be breastfeeding”.
NICK CHRISTIANSEN: I knew my wife was determined and hardworking and you know, just kind of a real solid character person before the baby came. And then we had our birth and it was testing. And I just never seen determination like that before. She was, there was never any part of her that associated with like the negative aspects of it, she never identified with any of the issues that were going on and said like “I wonder if we can do this”. She never waver doing always whats next whats next, what do we do next what do we do next and I just, her ability to stay positive at the moment was the reason we’re able to have our baby turn so naturally

ROB LAIRD: And on top of that its just awesome you know you get that kind of respect for your wife and see what they’re going through and then but still know that she still needs me. And in that moment you know, strong as she is, she was stronger because I was there. And that just made me feel a lot better about you know, still being a key part to that and that really help me stay in the loop with that one.

JOHNER RIEHL: Yeah, Im totally in awe of Christina, at this point because we’re still breastfeeding our almost 2 year old, so she’s been pregnant or breastfeeding and in some cases both since this time in 2006. So, thats seven straight years that she is kind of given her body to helping our family and grow. And when she looks in the mirror and say like, ” oh look at these stretch marks, look at my tummy” and I can see that she’s sad, like it bumps me out because you know, like Nick is saying it doesn’t bother me at all. In fact I mean I just think its awesome and I’m so in awe that she was able to do that. And its, you know its amazing what women go through enable to provide for families and yet theres no negative judgement at all going on, its the opposite.

SUNNY GAULT: Okay. So, thanks to Danny for joining us today, for more information about expert as well as all our dad panelists, you can visit the episode page at our website. This conversation continues for members of our Preggie Pals Club, after the show our dads will share the biggest lesson they’ve learned as an expecting dad. To learn more about our club, visit our website www.preggiepals.com . Our sister show Parent Savers, as I mentioned earlier is continuing this conversation this week with the discussion on what to expect during your baby’s first year. So all of our dad panelists will be joining us for that one. Be sure to check it out.

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SUNNY GAULT: We have a comment from one of our listeners and this comes from Leslie. Hi Leslie. She says,” Hi preggie pals, I’m one of the newest members of the Preggie Pals Club. I also have your app on my phone. How do I unlock the archive episodes?”. Yes, so you just download the app. You’re going to see a little, kind of looks like a lock next to a bunch of our episodes, including the bonus content which is a part of each new show. The way to unlock that is through your settings page.

So I have my app actually in front of me right now. So, you’re going to go to the settings page, just look at the bottom, you’ll see settings, click on that and go to account. Its the first option you see. You can log in through your premium log in information or even log in through facebook. Thats an option as well. And you just going to enter your username and your password that you created when you signed up for your account. And once you do that-boom! All the episodes including that great bonus content are matched. So thank you very much for your question.

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SUNNY GAULT: That wraps up our show for today, we appreciate to your listening to preggie pals. Don’t forget to check out our sister show Parent Savers for parents with newborns, infants and toddlers and our show The Boob Group for moms who breastfeed their babies. Next week we’re talking about prenatal anxiety and depression, are you at risk. This is Preggie Pals, your pregnancy, your way.

[Disclaimer]
This has been a New Mommy Media production. Information and material contained in this episode are presented for educational purposes only. Statements and opinions expressed in this episode are not necessarily those of New Mommy Media and should not be considered facts. Though information in which areas are related to be accurate, it is not intended to replace or substitute for professional, Medical or advisor care and should not be used for diagnosing or treating health care problem or disease or prescribing any medications. If you have questions or concerns regarding your physical or mental health or the health of your baby, please seek assistance from a qualified health care provider.

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