How have you been feeling?
So far so good. I was telling a friend of mine the other day, she just had a baby and she’s actually pregnant again and I was telling her I feel sort of guilty almost because I’ve heard some horror stories, not all horror stories, but I’ve heard a few. And I feel like, I’m so lucky because I don’t really have anything to complain about. To me it’s been such a great experience so far. I said I hope it’s an indication of how good the baby’s going to be. We’ll see.
Have you had any food cravings?
I actually crave a lot of ice cream and I crave a lot of dairy like milk, cheese, but I’m a big cheese eater but not really milk, for some reason I always want to drink milk and the only kind of bizarre cravings I’ve had are American cheese and dill pickles. I don’t know why, in fact, I don’t even generally like pickles but for some reason, I don’t know what it is it’s like they’re tart, sour, salty. Oh, and also Jalepeño Cheddar Cheetos—that’s weird. It’s kind of funny. I blame my neighbor, he had them over at his house once a long time ago before I was ever pregnant and I tasted them and for some reason I was in the store and that’s what I go for. I’m like, “I need these!” which I totally don’t. Those are a few cravings. And you know what else is funny, this is so not me, it’s junk food. I never eat junk food, I never ever, ever crave it, like pizza and burgers. And that’s something that’s a big craving, which is kind of weird to me. When I say junk food I mean pepperoni pizza and burgers and stuff like that. French fries, I mean I can’t even tell you when I order that if I’m not pregnant.
I wouldn’t say I can’t stand it, but I’m kind of sick of eating broccoli. It’s bizarre because that’s something I used to eat every day. For some reason just looking at it, it turns me off.
Have you been doing a lot of cooking pregnant?
I have been really into making a lot of spicy foods, so lots of Mexican like with Jalepeño and using naturally hot things, which might explain the Cheetos. So I would say I still cook maybe four times a week. I like to cook because it helps you have better control of what you’re having.
You’re having a girl, do you have a name picked out?
No, her code name is Coco. My husband calls her Coco Puff. I know it’s kind of silly. It’s like one of those things where we didn’t really want to announce any official name because we were afraid we’d get too many official opinions.
Do you have any crazy nesting stories?
Actually, it’s funny that you mention it. The one thing I have been kind of getting crazy about is making sure my closet—I just went through this overhaul of getting rid of the extra excess in my closet and I woke up one morning at 5 a.m. and could not sleep and I decided that that was the perfect time to go through and do a major Goodwill/Salvation Army donation. So I did that and then I organized my entire closet as well as the baby’s soon to be room and organized things to get rid of things to make space for her stuff. It was funny because I thought, “That’s funny, that’s odd, I’m not into nesting, right?” So I would say that qualifies. I’m generally not like that, I like to keep things, I’m very sentimental and then suddenly things that I think that I could never have seen myself parting with, like “Get rid of it.”
What’s your favorite thing you’ve bought for the baby so far?
Yes, oh my God, she’s already got three pairs of shoes. I know, funny, right? And I’ve got some dresses and some cute like little fun casual clothes. The clothing is great, cause girls are so fun to shop for. And then of course her bedding and all her accessories for the bedroom, that’s something I get really into. If I’m not shopping in a physical store, I’m looking online.
Favorite thing: Oh my gosh, it’s hard to pick one thing. I’ve got so much stuff. We have a pair of little black patent leather shoes that we set on our little buffet. They’re like little black patent leather Mary Janes. I look at them every day, it’s kind of cute. Those are actually a gift, my mother in law gave those to us. My mom bought a gold pair, so now she’s got gold and black. They’re so cute, we’ve had them next to each other. So I guess it’s the little baby shoes.
What role have your girlfriends played in your pregnancy?
My sister has two boys and of course she’s always giving me advice on what to expect and she’s put a little bit of the fear of God in me about some things.
Of course I have tons of girlfriends that have kids that range in all different ages. One of the girlfriend I have, Dana, from the shoot, she’s also helping us design the nursery, so that’s been really fun because she’s been giving me some great advice about what’s necessary and what excessive—things that you really don’t need. So it’s good to have friends that can kind of guide you. And she also didn’t breastfeed and she says that’s one of her biggest regrets. She’s like “Do it, just do it.”
I have another good girlfriend who lives in New York that I’m constantly calling and going to for advice. She’s got a one and a half year old and she’s got a little girl. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so nervous because I hadn’t taken prenatal vitamins and I was really obsessive about it freaking out, like “Oh my gosh! I did something wrong. I did something wrong. I should’ve been doing this whole time.” She kind of put my fears at ease and said you’re fine, start taking them now and eating healthy and doing the right thing and don’t be stressed out. Stress is not a good thing.
It’s funny you ask, I said to one girlfriend, “I cannot believe that I’m having a 45 minute conversation about an Orbit stroller.” I’m not kidding. All of a sudden I was like “Oh my God, have I become that person? I just spent 45 talking about an Orbit stroller.” Seriously. I couldn’t believe it, it was like “Wait a minute, you’re talking about a stroller.” Hey, it’s a great stroller though, I’ll tell you that. So I would say that the topics of conversation have definitely changed for sure. Before? It would probably be things like—it depends on which friend I’m talking to—but politics or different world events, my husband is in finance and business but I like talking about the stock market with companies and the mortgage industry, so it went from talking about that and real estate and all that to, “Can you imaging the ease of use for this stroller?” It’s changed, it’s gone from the stock market and what’s going on in the real estate world to the latest baby gadget and what’s the hottest necessity for an infant right now. But it’s fun, I like it.
That’s the other thing, I don’t know that much about it, so I call my mom about crib sheets and about diapers and about safety. You keep hearing all these different things, like kids in the crib, is it necessary to keep things out of the crib. Playpens and different devices and things, you know how they go in and out of fashion? My mother in law is really into Lambies [new Zealand tradition with babies, like a security blanket] but my mom has said “Be careful, I’ve heard of things causing SIDS” and so then I start getting worked up about that. Is it safe? Of course my husband is one of six kids and they all had them, they all slept with them every single night. So you see and you hear all these things and you want to know what’s the right thing and what’s not in vogue right now. Like should the baby lay on its belly or should it lay on its back, that whole thing. My mother in law still says, “Oh I still think it’s okay to put the baby on its belly sometimes.”
What advice have you received from celebrities?
Here’s what Kate Hudson said to me exactly: It was from some advice her own mom gave her, too. “Find the balance of when you have time for yourself and for fun for your friendships and for your men. And we balance so many things and I think from the second we have our kids we’re like guilty. We feel guilty that we’re not there enough or that we’re doing enough or we’re not feeding enough or their not eating enough. You’re constantly feeling this guilt. And then my mom goes, ‘Just let it go. You’ll always feel it.’ She’s still guilty. She’s guilty she can’t be in a hundred different places and her kids are grown.” So, don’t think about everything that you can’t control any more. You sort of have to accept the things that you can’t change, just kind of relax because that’s better for the baby. So I’ve been working on it, but it’s kind of against my personality. It’s been a challenge.
It was cute, Tom Cruise actually was pretty sweet he said I have better advice for your husband, which was kind of fun. He told my husband, “Every morning when you wake up, you need to ask [Victoria], what can I do?” He said it directly to my husband so I really love that. Of course I’m going to keep that one. And he said though for me, “It is a beautiful experience. Nothing better in the world. Enjoy it.”
Also, I have gotten some great insight from my friends who have careers and are juggling motherhood and work, which is what I plan to do. They have told me that it is important to know your limitations and see what works best for you once the baby arrives. “See how you feel” has been the common theme. Don’t try to plan out too many things and set yourself up for disappointment. In other words, keep an open mind about how you will need to adapt your lifestyle to the baby.
Anne doesn’t have kids and she was like, “Oh, I think it’s so neat.” I interviewed Jen Aniston who doesn’t have kids, but you know, she was just very overjoyed and excited. You can just tell that people are genuinely excited and happy for you. And that means a lot.
Who’s your go-to person for your pregnancy and baby questions?
I would say my mom and my sister Angie. Her husband is a doctor so sometimes when she doesn’t know, I’ll ask her to ask him. And my mom is a labor and delivery nurse, so I’m super lucky in that aspect. I think my mom’s probably my first line of communication. She’s not into pressuring me into anything, she said “I know right now breastfeeding is really important but you have to do what feels normal and natural to you. And do what you think feels right, you’ll know. If it doesn’t work and if you can’t for some reason, it’s okay.” I love that. It’s really important, because you don’t want to feel like a failure before you even come out of the gate.
I’m really excited. I’ve always wanted to have kids and I’ve always wanted a big family, so it’s kind of perfect. I feel ready.
What’s your birth plan?
It’s so funny that you asked that. We just talked about it on the plane, she’s visiting with me right now and we went through all the questions on the plane. It was me, my mom, and my husband. She was cute, she said, now you have to be very careful about the birth plan, I’m just warning you, whenever people come in with a birth plan they often get C-sections because they can’t follow it. It’s a good thing that I talked to her about it, my husband’s the one who brought it up to me. I didn’t even know about doing a birth plan. He’s reading The Expectant Father, a book all about what to expect for the dad. It’s cute, it’s good. Basically in that book there’s a list of all the questions.
I thought that I always wanted the episiotomy and then my doctor talked me out of it, so that’s a definite no. And then the epidural is a maybe, I wanted to talk to my doctor about what would be done, time-wise, cause I know that there’s a point when they can’t give it to you anymore and that has me a little concerned too.
As of now, I’m planning on seeing how it goes for the epidural and seeing what my pain threshold is. I have no idea what that’s like, so I’m not even going to venture to say. Being pregnant is not at all what I thought it was going to be at all. I think I probably thought it was not going to be as much fun as an experience, and it’s been so much fun and just really nice, that I don’t even want to try to guess what the pain is going to be like.
Is your mom going to be there for the birth?
Oh yes, of course, are you kidding? I’ve already told her “I need you, I need you.” My husband asked me, “Do men have doulas?” I said, I don’t think so. So that’s my birthplan so far. I’ll take it as it goes, nothing in writing. I don’t want to stress my doctor out either. Oh yeah, that’s another thing, that baby goes right to the chest.