Octuplets? Eight is (apparently) Sometimes Enough
Our country appreciates a nice big family story. Look no further than the Brady Bunch, Eight is Enough, Jon and Kate Plus Eight and the Duggars. We watch them, we laugh, we cry, we send food, diapers and baby food by the cartful.
So what about the octuplets?
The recent story about the California octuplets born to a single mother with six other children has most people feeling chilled. A quick online search will turn up dozens of hateful comments urging the mother to give some up for adoption or questioning the ethics of the doctor who gave her fertility treatment.
I agree with much of what I am reading in terms of the ethical questions. These extreme multiple pregnancies are dangerous and taxing to the mother as well as the babies who often require intensive, long stays in the NICU. Certainly there need to be limits on what is legal and what is required of doctors ethically.
Further, I do take issue with having children you can’t afford. Not everyone who has a baby needs to be wealthy, but they at least ought to be able to provide their child with the basics. Since we don’t know the mother’s financial situation, it seems people are only guessing that she will require public assistance. And therein lies the outrage.
The problem?
Outraged or not, we are still talking about eight little babies. And they have needs. Why are we so outraged by this mother and not by the other families with more than 10 children who take handouts?
The way we feel about how they babies got here is irrelevant in light of the fact that they are here. We need to support them and remember that, at some point, they will be able to read and do Google searches.
Are hateful diatribes lamenting their existence really what they need to see?




Affording Your Family
A few years ago, I would have agreed with your comment that families should be able to support the children they create. As I have matured I have come to see a different side of that argument, one that respects life over dollars and cents.
If a poor person needs medical care, you and I will likely agree that we as a society are responsible for providing it, with or without payment.
We value the person, and the morality behind the sentiment, more than we value the money.
How then can we say to that same person living in poverty, "I will pay for your doctor, but I will not pay for you to become a parent. The greatest joy on earth - parenthood - is reserved for those who make an adequate salary."
To know all is to forgive all.
The people who so enrage you share your hopes, your desires. You could, quite easily, be one of them. And if you were not able to provide a child with "the basics", would you be so quick to swear off parenthood? Or would you take "handouts" as I intend for my tax dollars to be spent: as promissory notes for a better life?
It is not for us to judge who should and should not have babies. And if you just can't help yourself, stick a sock in your mouth until the thought passes.
-- Amy Gamet
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