How to keep your non-mom friends post-baby


When it comes to pregnancy and all things baby-related, the facts can seem cruel: The demands of new motherhood can push even your best friends away, especially if you’re the first in your group to become a mom. A new baby – and all the joy, stress, and exhaustion he or she brings – can drive a wedge between you and your pals if you don’t safeguard against it. Here’s how to ensure your circle of friends stays intact throughout your pregnancy journey and well beyond.

Be realistic

Before your little one arrives, you may find yourself promising your pals that nothing will change. Repeat after me: Everything will change. But that doesn’t mean you have to kiss your old life goodbye – it’s just going to look a bit different from now on. For the first month at least, you’ll be busy adjusting to your new role as mom. During this time, take it easy on yourself and don’t try to force a social life. Instead, focus on healing, resting, and bonding with that sweet bundle. That being said, if you need a shoulder to cry on – or someone to rock your baby while you nap or shower, don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and ask for a helping hand.

Dial it down

It can be tempting to talk about your baby all day long. After all, you’ve never seen a creature so beautiful, charming, or downright delightful, right? But trust me, while your non-mom friends may appreciate this conversation fodder the first or second time, by the tenth, they’ll likely be tearing their hair out. In all of your excitement about motherhood, don’t forget that your friends have their own interests, too. Don’t neglect to ask about them.

Be flexible

Here’s an inevitable moment of motherhood: When you’re racing out the door, keys in-hand and diaper bag at the ready, your baby will spit-up, blow-out a diaper – or both. Babies have no sense of time (rude, right?), so you’re going to have to learn to be flexible. Leave earlier and always provide a window for your arrival, one that makes it perfectly acceptable to show up 15 minutes past everyone else.

Change of plans

Once baby comes along, nights out on the town just don’t sound so enticing. Speaking from personal experience here, when my little one hits the sheets, I make a beeline for bed to make sure I squeeze in as much shuteye as possible. When I do make it out at night, I’m yawning by 9 p.m. Instead, I much prefer seeing my girlfriends during the day – meeting up for brunch or even a walk outdoors.

Are you worried about how motherhood will change your relationship with friends? What are some ways you plan on addressing it? Share your thoughts with other moms-to-be in the comments below. 

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