Sex drive after birth: Advice for first time mothers

A recent study looked at the average libido of new dads and first time mothers, and found that stress and fatigue can, understandably, drastically affect sex lives post-baby. However, researchers also found that new parents will experience “sexual highs” given the limited free time they have to be intimate.

The report noted that while the common belief is that sexual disinterest after birth stems from a lack of attraction or breast-feeding status, it’s more because new parents are just plain wiped out. Mothers often have hormonal changes that affect their libido as well as a need to rest and heal. But it’s not unusual for dads, as well as moms, to be less interested in sex in general due to stress and fatigue.

Being safe with sex after pregnancy 

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that new moms need time to heal before jumping back into the sack with their hubby. Parents should wait about a month before returning to physical intimacy, or until their physician gives the go-ahead. That said, it’s not uncommon for recent mothers and fathers to take some time to get their mojo back, so don’t stress if the flame isn’t reignited exactly four weeks after the little one is born.

Read more: How long do you have to wait to have sex after giving birth?

Getting back into the groove

For when you are ready to get back into the sexual groove of things, the study noted that sexual highs post-baby are the result of a restrained schedule. In other words, it may behoove new parents to take advantage of those brief moments after their child goes down for a daytime nap. Hopefully you’ll be more awake than when Junior hits the hay for the night.

Parents who have just had their first baby may also feel that their own bond has strengthened as a result of having a child together, so take advantage of some of the newfound intimacy. Your lady parts may be drier than they were before you were pregnant, but rather than viewing this as another obstacle, consider it an opportunity to experiment with new lubes. Just make sure that you don’t use any that might irritate you, since you will still be sensitive.

If your darling child isn’t exactly a heavy sleeper, treat yourself to some alone time with your partner by leaving him or her with a neighbor, family member or friend, if just for an hour.

By Kendra Smith

Kendra Smith is Pregnancy magazine's editor in chief. Her son was born in December 2011 and she can hardly believe where the time went. In addition to her expertise on this exciting phase in a women's life, she's a big believer in all things green, from cars (she drives a hybrid) to composting (yes, even her son's diapers). As a licensed skin care professional, she also blogs about natural beauty at theskindetective.com.