Sibling Rivalry


We have not had the best luck introducing our children. My toddler daughter, while sweet, spirited and tons of fun is also a bit… intense. When she loves her brother she loves him.

But when she doesn’t, she doesn’t. She pinches. She smacks.

She takes his toys, she bites his feet, she smacks his head. Lately she even has the courtesy to tell us: “I am going to hit Anni now.” Great honey, thanks for your honesty.

We have tried it all—timeouts, talking to her, begging, positive reinforcement of good behavior. Nothing works with this kid. Last month we thought we found the answer when we worked out a Supernanny like routine—she hit, we said no, led her into her room, shut the door, counted to 60, explained what she did wrong and made her say sorry. Then she started putting herself in time out, hitting her brother, shutting the door, crying and then apologizing. Outsmarted we were. By a kid who is not yet 2.

I am still trying to find the balance, trying to find the place where my two children can connect and love one another. When we first had Sam, we were told to have our second ASAP—“they will be so close,” everyone said.

I assume they meant close emotionally, because right now? She is not getting anywhere close to him again.

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