As a first time mother, there are a lot of things you need for a new baby. While you can certainly get plenty of stuff from your friends and family members who have already had children, there are some things that should be bought new. Your baby shower will probably set you up with a bunch of essentials and some nonessentials that you’ll still get plenty of use out of. But not all baby and pregnancy products are useful. Here are 10 of the silliest, most ridiculous baby products on the market that you may want to avoid.
1. Baby butt fans
This is not a joke. There are actually fans on the market that are made specifically to help prevent diaper rash. Yes, extra moisture can cause diaper rash and the wipes you use on your baby’s bottom are moist, but chances are you don’t need a handheld fan to speed up the drying process. Just wait a few seconds for the area to dry before you put the diaper back on or use a little bit of powder to soak up any wetness. If you still like the idea and think it’s valid, you could always just hold your baby’s bum in front of a regular household fan for a few seconds instead of shelling out the cash for one of these.
2. Over-the-top baby shoes
Obviously, babies don’t walk, so it should go without saying that they don’t really need shoes, right? Then why are there so many ridiculous pairs of infant footwear on the market, from sneakers to flip-flops? Your baby will outgrow a pair of Jordans in a couple of months, so why spend the money? Trying to get your baby’s feet to stay in a pair of strap-on flip-flops is going to be a pain in the butt – most babies probably won’t like the feeling of a thong in between their toes. Skip the fancy footwear and stock up on socks or booties until your baby starts putting his or her feet on the ground.
3. Baby hair
They’re (supposedly) meant to be jokes, but you can actually buy things like baby bangs and baby toupees. All they’re really doing is making your baby look ridiculous and giving you a laugh – there’s no need to buy one – stick to silly hats or sunglasses.
4. Joke pacifiers
Yeah, your baby might look funny with a pacifier in the shape of a mustache, lips, redneck teeth or vampire fangs. But do you really want him or her to be seen out and about wearing one of those things? People may question your parenting style if you make your baby the source of public ridicule on a regular basis! There are plenty of better ways to have fun with your little one.
Some infants and toddlers have medical conditions that do require extra precautions like helmets, but if your baby isn’t one of them, having him or her wear a helmet is a little excessive. We all want to protect our kids, but there’s a difference between being watchful and being overprotective. Just keep an eye on your baby when he or she is learning to walk and baby-proof your house to remove sharp corners on furniture.
6. Outrageously expensive strollers
To get from one place to another, you don’t need to put your baby into a $2,000 stroller. Some might look sleeker and have some additional features like built-in umbrellas, but do you really want to spend so much money on something so mundane? Do yourself and your child a favor and put that money into a college fund or something instead of dishing it out for a product you’re only going to use for a few years.
7. The iPotty
Most people would agree that giving an iPad to a 2-year-old is an accident waiting to happen, right? So why is there such a thing as the iPotty? It’s basically a training toilet with an attached holder for an iPad, presumably so children can play and have fun while they’re sitting on the toilet. However, do you really think your child will fall for this? Do you actually want to put your iPad anywhere near your child’s pee? Doubt it.
8. The Baby Keeper
It’s sometimes a hassle to go to the bathroom when you have an infant in tow, but is it annoying enough to make you want to hang your child up on the door of the stall while you do your business? Probably not, but the Baby Keeper still exists. It’s a harness that you put your baby in that has two hooks at the top that go over the stall door. No. Just don’t.
Yes, it’s unfortunate when your baby boy pees while he’s lying on the changing table without a diaper, but this product is more unfortunate. It’s just a plastic cup that you use to block any potential pee streams while you’re changing your baby’s diaper. Retailing for about $13, you can buy a whole lot of plastic cups at the supermarket for much less.
10. Zaky Infant Pillow
Nothing’s creepier than this infant pillow. It’s shaped like two disembodied hands that prop your baby up while he or she is sleeping. If it doesn’t give your baby nightmares, it might give you nightmares. There are other ways to keep your baby in place.